Holy Batman!
By Gokhra and Mood Dude
On a calm summers night just before Rising needs to go to the printers although the pages are blank, two guys who are supposed to be working were NOT.
Mood Dude (DM, and don't ask why it ain't MD instead of DM): Holly Bat droppings, where's Bruce Wayne?
Gokhra (G): What's the matter Robin? Have you been watching too many Batman flicks again?
DM: Check out the car wiseguy. If that isn't a Batmobile then nothing is.
They stare at the long, long, long………… oh damn it, this car is way too long. Mood Dude drools in a way reminiscent of Homer Simpson drooling after a doughnut. In fact some of the drool lands on the keyboard. There's a sizzle as the drool vaporises into billions of molecules to mix in the air.
G: The car's not pretty but it definitely has an awesome in your face look. In fact it's a bit too much in your face. It definitely goes for Batman. And not the happy, funny, campy Batman of the 1966 TV series. There is nothing happy, funny or campy about this car. It's mean and mysterious and it has a front that looks as if it will bite you.
DM: Yep, it's evil. It's a car for all the dark characters. In fact Darth Vader is more appropriate. It looks like it will hiss.
G: But it isn't pretty, it's evil. What on earth possessed anyone to make this? And yes, they must have been possessed. It's more like the devils chariot.
DM: Try saying that to the car's face. Or its grill. Or whatever part of a car you talk to. It'll eat you for dinner.
G: Not everyone talks to cars like you do. Anyways, not many people who want to talk to it (if any) will be able to as it is only a concept. It's actually a car built by a tire company called Fulda.
DM: I've heard of tires being designed for cars not the other way around.
G: Yeah, the car is officially a promotional vehicle financed by German tire manufacturer Fulda to publicize the new Carat Exelero tire. Fulda had Maybach built a similar one-off 67 years ago to hit the then unheard-of speed of 200 km/h, or 124 mph. It did that with a Maybach SW 38 underneath, a special aerodynamic body and, of course, quality Fulda tires. So naturally the tires on this car are high tech Fuldas Carat Exeleros measuring 315/25ZR-23 front and rear. The tire can carry a 7000-pound car at speeds greater than 200 mph, parameters around which Exelero the car is coincidentally designed.
DM: That tire makes a wider imprint on the ground than my butt would after I spend the next few years bingeing on greased food. This car is huge. It's 232 inches from end to end. That's about 19 feet. This time the car is based on a Maybach 57S sedan which is already a huge car but comparatively shorter than this monster. It was a design penned by a barely old-enough-to-vote German design student named Frederik Burchardt of Pforzheim University.
It's also seven-foot-wide, four-and-a-half-foot-tall and has a coefficient of drag of just 0.28. That's with those outside rearview mirrors on it. Take the mirrors off and the figure drops to 0.26. That's' tech speak meaning this car slices through air like a greased non-stick coated arrow.
G: Also the cool part is that it is equipped with a three-part spoilera big one in the middle and smaller ones on each end. These pop up on the trailing edge of the rear deck to help out maintain the stability as the speeds get higher and higher. By the way, it can go all the way upto 218 mph. Which incidentally isn't really that much when you consider how the Mclaren F1 hit 230 plus almost a decade ago.
DM: The McLaren weighs about half as much as this and is tiny in comparison.
G: That high velocity is attained a twin turbo, quad intercooled 5.9-liter AMG V12 that churns out a mighty 700 hp. It also has a mind boggling 752 pounds per feet of torque. That much twisting pressure will be able to uproot big old trees. Heck, this car can accelerate from sixth gear even leaving behind other sports cars.
DM: With that much torque on my Corolla the wheels would shoot out and go into orbit.
G: A baby with a spanner can twist off your Corolla wheels.
This car weighs in at 6000 pounds. That's about three times your average Corolla. That means this car is guzzling gas at about 2 miles per gallon. It keeps getting more and more impractical.
DM: If anyone can afford the 5 million euros required for this beats then I doubt they will be worrying about fuel prices and blowing new holes in the ozone layer every time they start the car.
G: Worse still it can sit only two adults, destroys the environment and depletes the oil reserves too quickly and it's way too long. I'd like to see batman turn that car around in Jigatola.
DM: Batman gave up on Jigatola cause the criminals are a bit too much of a handful. And you live there. Too bad it won't be made though. If the rich really are different from you and me, this would help them celebrate that difference, at 200-plus mph.
