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     Volume 5 Issue 103 | July 14, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a level 4 student of BUET. I've fallen into difficulties with a girl who is an HSC examinee. Almost two years ago, my aunt asked me to teach her. She was then a student of Viqarunnesa College and lived in Dhanmondi. She wasn't a relative but her mother was friends with my aunt. She's not very good looking. I am a very shy person and she tried to attract me in different ways but I didn't respond. Almost one and half years later she directly proposed to me. At first I didn't answer. But still she kept on sending me SMS regularly. The messages are very emotional. But I am not interested in getting involved with a student. Tell me what I should do now?

Dear MAH,
You will just have to make it very clear to her that you are not interested. Your message to her must be direct but polite and respectful. She must get a clear signal that you have no intention now or in future to get involved with her. Eventually she will get the message and stop pursuing you.

Dear Mita,
I am a girl studying in a university. My father died 14 years ago. My eldest brother is 3 years older than I am and is in 3rd year final at university. I know that he used to watch X-rated films on TV at night. Suddenly I found out that he is having a physical relationship with his girlfriend. This affair is very harmful for both. Anything could happen at any time. Since it is such a sensitive issue I could not speak to him about it. He is also a very angry person. It should be noted though that he maintains our family very well. Now I don't know how to deal with this situation?

Dear FH,
Although you have every reason to be concerned , there is little you can do about this. Each person has to take responsibility for his or her actions. Your brother is an adult and should know what he is doing. He will also have to face the consequences of his actions. As a younger sister you can give him hint that you know and do not approve.. The rest is up to him.

Dear Mita,
I am a BBA student of a reputed university. As such I have to make many presentations before students and teachers. I have fluency over English and a sufficient stock of vocabulary, but whenever I am asked to present something before an audience I get nervous. Everything shuts down. My feet start shaking and I cannot make my eye contact with the audience. In many cases our instructors assign group presentations and although I do almost all the work for our group as leader when I am on stage to present it I get scared and cannot deliver perfectly and get fewer marks than the other members. I am very worried about it because all through the courses, I have to do a lot of presentations and obviously my result depends on it to a great extent. It is also very important thing in the job market. Could you please help me in any way?

Dear Tanim,
This is just a case of nervousness. The only way you can get out of this by doing it repeatedly. Try to make presentations informally to a friendly group of people that you feel comfortable with. You may even do this with family, cousins, friends etc. Meanwhile read books and articles on how to get over your nervousness. A lot has been written on this subject as this is a key to success in professional life.
Most importantly, do not get too upset about this. Many people suffer from this syndrome and eventually get over it.


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