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     Volume 5 Issue 95 | May 19, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am 18 years old and weigh 75 kilos. I have a big problem. I can't stop eating. I'm not a very outgoing person, so I stay at home most of the time. My mom's a great cook, but that's just an excuse. I get bored of staying at home with nothing to do, so even when my mom hasn't made some delicious dishes for me I send my maid outside to bring something eat for for me to eat. My cousin told me that I could eat as much as I want and throw it up. But I still haven't dared to do something like that. My mom keeps telling me to go out and do stuff but I find it really difficult to talk to people, I am an extremely shy person. I just like reading and eating. How do you think I can get over this eating problem? Or do you think I should just be the way I am?

Dear Overweight,
No you should not remain the way you are. Being overweight is a serious problem, which will turn to obesity if you are not careful. Apart from making one look unattractive, it is also a health hazard leading to high pressure, heart disease etc. For starters, when you get the urge to munch, choose health food such as salads, carrots, crackers etc. Find a hobby that will take you out of the house at least 3 times a week. Join a health club that is near and easy to go to. Ask your mom to prepare food that is high in fibre and mineral and low in fat such as oil, red meat etc. Once you start to look attractive after losing some weight you will continue to do so. I know this is not easy but you have to be determined. Eating and throwing up is not a solution at all.

Dear Mita,
I am 13 years old and live with my parents. I'm facing problems with my neighbours for the last seven years, but I've been tolerating it so far. Now I just can't stand her (my neighbour) any longer. I don't know why she always tries to copy me. She always wears the same clothes I wear, same spectacles I have, same sandals, she even goes to the same art school as I do. And there are many more examples like this. She tries to act smart by mimicking my ways and just manages to get on my nerves. Moreover, her mother tries to copy my mother from top to bottom. Her mother even shifted her school to mine. Thank God we were in separate branches. Anyway, can you please help me? I don't know what to do regarding this matter.

Dear Promi,
Do not let this bug you. Perhaps she is doing this just to annoy you and therefore ignoring her might put a stop to it. However, she might have some other reasons such as she finds you so cool that she wants to be like you! As I said, don't let this get on your nerves. Remember, both of you are only 13. While you might be matured, she is immature and in many ways just a kid. So just ignore it.

Dear Mita,
I am 24 years old. I have been going out with a girl for about two years now. I know I love her a lot and I can't imagine spending my life with anybody else but her. She feels the same way about me. But recently I couldn't help but wonder if she's perhaps the wrong person for me. She calls me up all day long and insists on meeting me everyday, even when I have a heavy workload. She starts an argument with me immediately if I stay over at my friends' place saying that I'm probably seeing someone else and don't love her as much as I did before. I have tried to please her by limiting the time I spend with my friends and meeting her as much as possible because I do love her, but sometimes I feel very frustrated. Although I don't want to break up with her even if I ever attempted to do such a thing she would probably try to harm herself in some way. Once we had a big fight and she cut herself in several places all over her body. Her behaviour is really affecting my studies. I'm doing an MBA and working part-time and it's very difficult to focus sometimes.

Dear Mess,
Deciding that she is the wrong person for you is perhaps too drastic. However, there is a serious need to analyse your relationship. She appears to be jealous and possessive. Some people are fine with this but others find it restrictive which has a very negative impact in married life. You need to have a frank talk with her on this issue. On the other hand you should not give her the opportunity to feel jealous or insecure. It is your responsibility to make sure that she feels secure in the relationship.


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