I used to tutor a HSC student. Being a good teacher with a
lot of experience, I helped her to do well and her parents
appreciated my contribution towards their daughter's academic
achievements. After some months, however, her parents asked
me to marry her. This was very unexpected as well as unwanted.
I could not accept their proposal and stopped going to their
house. One day, however, my student came to my university
dormitory and told me that if I did not marry her she would
commit suicide. What can I do now?
Please do not be taken in by this blackmail because it
is utter nonsense. Just be clear in your conscience that you
have not in any way led her to believe that you love her.
If you are clear on that then you should not worry. Please
go about your business and don't worry, I am sure she will
get over it.
I'm a 22-year-old woman and an MA student. I have never been
in love with anyone. I feel capable of loving someone very
deeply but I don't know who to love. I can make friends easily
and have some excellent ones. But whenever anyone proposes
to me, I realise I don't love them and refuse right away.
They think I'm crazy. I can't make them understand that I
try to love them but can't. My family is not a problem. I
feel like I need a companion but I don't have one. What can
Perhaps you are very choosy and there is nothing wrong
in that. However, don't take this to an extent that you become
incapable of accepting people as they are. Think about some
of the qualities you like and see if anyone you know or has
proposed fits that picture. Remember, you will never find
all the qualities in one person. Serious relationships involve
adjustment and compromise from both sides. However, before
anything else, you must be more accepting of people and feel
confident enough to enter into a relationship.
I'm a cadet of Class 12. At the beginning of my vacation after
my SSC exams, I made friends with a girl. We used to talk
on the phone after midnight and became very close over three
months. But my father's transfer later on and other reasons,
including my phone being disconnected, made it difficult for
us to keep in touch. A year and a half later I called her
up thinking she'd be delighted but she seemed changed and
as if she was avoiding me. She hung up on me the next time
I called as well. I don't know what's happened. She used to
be such a good friend and I really missed her. But her attitude
has really upset and depressed me. What should I do?
I know this is hard to accept but your friend is no longer
interested in your friendship. There is no reason to be upset
or depressed. Experiencing joy, happiness, disappointment,
etc. is all a part of growing up. This will prepare you for
adult life which is much tougher and more cruel than a friend
not responding to your telephone calls. Therefore, get your
mind off this and concentrate on making new friends, both
boys and girls.
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