Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I got a job after completing my education and now my family wants me to get married. I have many women friends but I was never attracted to any of them. After watching the movie Far from Heaven, I discovered my sexual identity. I have seen many doctors since and my problem is not curable. I tried twice to commit suicide. I'm trying to live my life in my own way. I want to stop my parents from looking for a bride for me. They are religious and will not understand my feelings. I love them and don't want to shock them by revealing my identity. What should I do?
A confused man

Dear Confused,
This a very difficult situation and something that I have very little expertise on. I suggest that you talk to your trusted doctor and take his advise. The fact that your parents will not understand is natural. Somebody besides yourself needs to discuss this with them. Meanwhile, they cannot force you to get married.

Dear Mita,
Ever since I was a child I used to be haunted by nightmares, some of which came true. Recently I saw a nightmare in which I killed my girlfriend, stabbing her with a sharp knife. The dream was crystal clear to me. I could see all the moves, see myself stabbing her 13 times in the chest, I could smell the blood all over me. Should I tell her about the nightmare? She is all I need and I'm afraid of losing her in real life, especially because of myself. What should I do?
--SB

Dear SB,
If you think that this problem is serious enough then please see a psychiatrist. You need professional help and I cannot advise you.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 20-year-old man. One of my best friends fell in love a month ago. Recently, I've noticed that she is often pensive. When I asked her whether anything was wrong, she said that her relationship with the man was strained. Apparently, he tried to kiss her, as most lovers do nowadays, but she being a pious girl refused to have any sort of physical relationship before marriage. The boy then told her that he would not speak to her again until she changed her decision. I don't think anyone should force themselves upon anyone else. Is this love? I have suggested that my friend forget the boy since he obviously does not respect her feelings. Am I right? What can she do now to forget him.
--Worried

Dear Worried,
I agree that no one should force oneself on any one and it is every adult person's individual right to set their own code of personal conduct. I cannot advise what she should do to forget him but she certainly needs to have a more open dialogue with him and explain her problem. This boy cannot put an ultimatum on her and expect her to reciprocate. I agree that this relationship does not have much of a future. It is for the girl to realise this herself and get out of it.