Food
for Thought CULINARY
CHALLENGES
Farah
Ghuznavi
Many people
who have children initially nurture a fond, if inaccurate,
view that somehow they have the absolute power to shape this
new human being. This delusion is quickly dispelled, often
within the first few months of a baby's life, when parents
discover (often to their horror!) that far from being a tabula
rasa (blank slate), most babies exhibit quite strong individual
characteristics. This realisation continues to be reinforced
as babies develop into children - and get progressively better
at making their opinions felt!
For some,
the realisation of a child's individuality is often experienced
the hard way - through its food preferences (as any parent
who has tried fruitlessly to promote the consumption of greens
will tell you…). One of my aunts experienced great childhood
trauma over food issues - the trauma was all hers, though
the childhood was that of my cousin, her daughter. My cousin
didn't seem to feel the need to eat very often, almost regardless
of the food on offer. After trying just about everything,
my desperate aunt asked the paediatrician for advice. "Leave
her alone," he said, "When she is hungry, she will
eat." Figuring that he must know what he was talking
about, my aunt decided to try this. After two full days, when
my cousin had consumed little more than a few glasses of juice
and a couple of slices of bread (exhibiting little or no ill-effect
from this rather sparse intake), my aunt was the first one
to cave in! She moved back to the regime of attempted force
feeding, heralding what was to be five years of fruitless
struggles to persuade my cousin to eat "like a normal
child"…
This does
of course raise the question of what a normal child eats.
Most children, particularly today, seem happiest consuming
complete garbage i.e. chocolate, chips and cola (often delicious,
but not necessarily healthy!). Under the circumstances, parents
(who are becoming increasingly conscious of the importance
of good nutrition - as hammered into them by the various scares
regarding childhood obesity etc) are probably grateful when
they can persuade the children to eat anything remotely healthy.
I remember being surprised when, as a child, I saw my parents'
visiting American friends allowing their children to subsist
for two weeks on a steady diet of only rice/bhat (the daughter)
and only minced beef/keema (the son). Neither seemed very
interested in dal (lentils)… Even then, I knew that
I would never have been allowed to get away with such demands
(my mother was made of sterner stuff!). Now I wonder if their
mother, who was probably used to seeing them live off hot
dogs and hamburgers, was just relieved to have found something
(of nutritional value) that they would willingly eat in Bangladesh!
Parents
often use different strategies to address this thorny problem.
In the old days, aggressive coercion was a common technique
i.e. bullying or leaving a child at the table until the food
on his/her plate is cleared. Other parents tried bribery,
as in the case of my friend Karin, whose deep (some might
say, compulsive) love of desserts made her vulnerable. She
says she spent many years viewing her main meal as something
she had to get through, in order to get to dessert! Other
parents spend an excessive amount of time in the early childhood
years of the children in attempting to "train" them
in the right habits. This often involves a series of attempts
to put something nutritious in front of the child in order
to identify a few key meals that are acceptable i.e. acceptable
to parents in terms of nutritional content, and children in
terms of preference. This strategy can work, although it involves
a great deal of effort. For my friend Runa, it allowed her
to discover that her daughter, Zara, likes hummus (chickpea
paste), which is packed with goodness. The fact that Runa
herself loves all kinds of sweets (and usually has at least
three kinds of cake in her fridge) has also involved a "do
as I say, not as I do" policy with Zara (who is restricted
to chocolate covered rice-cakes, which are considered less
damaging…)
Of course,
there are always parents who should know better, but insist
on actively stuffing their children with bad things. In case
you're sceptical, let me tell you about the lady I sat next
to on a flight, with her two-year-old child. In this case,
the lady was Indian (and apparently vegetarian, judging from
her in-flight meal). She was travelling with some other relatives,
and collected the butter from each of their trays (six in
all). Under my fascinated gaze, she proceeded to feed her
son all six of these, before requesting the stewardess for
a further three, which she also fed him. This despite the
child's best efforts to eat one of the bread rolls on the
tray, which she determinedly (inexplicably) prevented him
from doing! As for me, I took a furtive look to make sure
that the seat pockets contained sick bags, and tried to move
as far away from them as possible…
Finally,
before any parents reading this give up in disgust, I am happy
to report a singular success story. This relates to the six-year-old
son of a family friend who came to our house some time ago.
When my father offered him Coca-Cola (something I can assure
you that I did not usually have access to when I was growing
up…), he replied, with great dignity and self-possession,
"I don't drink Coca-Cola, it has too many artificial
additives". Well, I guess that means there's at least
one set of parents out there who must be feeling quite (rightly)
satisfied with their efforts.
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(R) thedailystar.net 2004
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