Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 14-year-old girl in love with my 16-year-old neighbour. I have known him all my life but recently, I have developed feelings that seem to be more than just friendly ones. I wrote him an email telling him how I feel but he replied saying he looks at me like a sister, which embarrassed me very much. I want to win his love. Please tell me what I should do.
In Love

Dear In Love,
I am afraid I have no formula to make him fall in love with you. Don't send anymore emails to him but maintain a friendly pleasant attitude. Who knows, over the years he might start to see you differently. Meanwhile make other friends, at this age it is much more fun to have multiple friends then getting stuck to one person.

Dear Mita,
I am a 21-year-old girl and am in my third year at a reputed university. I have fallen in love with one of my professors, and I think he has feelings for me too. He always keeps me back after class and sometimes even asks me to have lunch with him in the cafeteria. He always wants to know about my future plans and seems to understand me more than my own parents. However, I know that he is engaged to be married and I can't bring myself to ask him how he feels about me. What should I do?
Confused

Dear Confused,
If you know he is engaged to get married then it is best to stay away from him. Perhaps his gestures are just friendly and you are making too much out of it. There is nothing unusual for a teacher to show interest in the future plans of a student. However, I think he should be more careful and not give any chance for misunderstanding. Please don't ask him how he feels about you, this might cause embarrassment to both of you. It is not uncommon for young women to have feelings for their teachers. I believe this is a temporary phase and will pass.

Dear Mita,
I am the mother of two and am bored with my life. I feel like all my life I lived for my family, first for my parents, then my husband and his family and now for my little ones. I love them to death but sometimes when I think about it I feel like I could have accomplished a lot more in life had I not been too busy looking after my family. I always wanted to complete my masters and I wonder if it's too late to do that and start a career. I feel guilty thinking about such things but I can't help it. I'm in my late thirties now. Do you think it's too late for me to go back to my studies?
Old Mum

Dear Old Mum,
Let me answer you last question first. No, it is not too late to go back to studies. It is never too late to fulfill dreams and aspirations. You are suffering from the same frustrations that many women have when they realise at a certain time in their lives that they have not used their time well or productively. Today, it is possible to have a successful career and bring up a healthy and happy family at the same time. This of course calls for a lot of sacrifice and hard work. But before you decide anything discuss with your family as their support is crucial. But go ahead with determination and self-belief and I am sure you will succeed.