Impressions
What's
your Problem
SRABONTI
NARMEEN ALI
For
every good deed done, there is always someone on the sidelines
claiming that he can do a better job. There are so many different
examples to prove this theory, from so many different angles,
that I wouldn't know where to begin. It is a Bangali trait,
after all, to criticise whatever you haven't done yourself,
whether it is good or bad. And when you do something on your
own, you cannot help but beat your own drum and claim how
wonderful a job you have done, because pride or jealousy --
whichever of the two evils it may be -- will not allow you
to admit that someone else may be doing something good, or
better than you would have done.
I wonder
what it is about us that disallows us to be happy for others,
or even be able to pat someone on the back and admit that
they have done a good job.
Take dinner
parties for example. People will go to someone's house, eat
their food, impose on their time and their hospitality, and
then badmouth them, just because they can. How many times
have you heard someone claiming right after they walked out
of someone's house that the food was terrible, or that the
room temperature was not to their liking? Is it necessary
to say all of that rather than think how nice the person was
for inviting you into their home and feeding you?
How about
when there is someone who has won a prize or gets praise for
outstanding academic results or anything of the likes? There
is always some jerk in the crowd who insists on making a derisive
comment, or putting the person down. Why? Because we can't
accept that there is room for all of us in the world to do
good, and that one person being complimented does not necessarily
mean that another person is being insulted.
Look at
the way we talk about our government. No matter which party
is in power, everyone is always complaining about something
or another. And although there is definitely room for improvement,
how can each party be so wrong? Is our government just full
of completely incompetent people or do we actually not know
how to look on the bright side rather than always being negative?
The government has such a bad reputation that even people
who are really trying to make a difference and doing good
are being stigmatised as corrupt.
People
criticise newspapers and journalists -- does the term yellow
journalism come to mind? But do they ever wonder how much
a reporter has to go through? They work around the clock and
sometimes, come across situations where they know that if
they write the wrong thing about the wrong person, they might
be victimised. No one is saying that the media is not guilty
of disseminating wrong information from time to time. But
at the same time, is it always possible to be a hundred percent
correct all the time? No, but it is easier to be angry at
the people who are actually doing the job, because they should
be doing it right.
There
is bad and good in everything and everyone -- even though
it is easier for us to just believe that it is one or the
other. For us everything has to be black and white and we
can form our likes, dislikes and tastes accordingly. Most
of the time something makes us always want to believe the
worst about people -- which is why we gossip and back-stab
so much that it has become a Bangladeshi national sport. At
the end of the day, however, one has to wonder that if we
were so confident and content within ourselves, why would
we feel the need to degrade others? It is a sad reality that
we spend our entire existences putting others down in order
to pull ourselves up in our own eyes.
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(R) thedailystar.net 2005
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