Dear
Mita,
I told my teacher I have a crush on him. Later, I found
out that he's married, though I'm not 100 percent sure.
Now I want to undo the situation. What should I do?
--Mango
Dear
Mango,
Once you say something it is impossible to retrieve it.
That is why one has to think before saying anything and
value the importance of spoken words. Anyhow, you must go
about your business and if the situation so demand please
apologise to him.
Dear
Mita,
I'm a 20-year-old woman. For the last three years I have
been in a relationship with a man who is five years older
than me. Although he pretends to love me we often have misunderstandings.
He is very possessive and does not consider my feelings.
I have been good friends with one of my neighbours since
we were in college. He's a lot of fun, jolly and lively,
and when he talks, I feel like listening to him forever.
I think I'm developing deep feelings for him. I'm not even
happy with my boyfriend because of his attitude , he doesn't
even like me being friends with other guys. He hardly ever
appreciates my work or achievements while my other friend
always inspires me and never complains about anything. I
know my marriage will hurt him and he may not be the jolly
guy he is anymore. Please show me a way.
--X
Dear
X,
You are in a very confused state of mind. You must try and
separate the two feelings. First clarify the relationship
with your boyfriend. If he is so possessive, uncaring, unappreciative
then why do you continue with him? This will only make you
unhappy in the long run. It will not be wise to jump into
another relationship just because you find some person jovial
and interesting. Think carefully what you want from a relationship
and whether this neighbour fits in that description. Most
importantly, do not rush into anything which you might regret
again. As for your present relationship, I do not think
it is working and you should call it quits.
Dear
Mita,
I am a 15-year-old guy. My problem is that I am extremely
physically attracted towards girls. I go to a boys' school
and do not have any female friends. But whenever I see any
cute or sexy girls, I can't sleep at night. Is this a disease?
Please help me.
--Someone
Dear
Someone,
This is not a disease but an unhealthy attitude towards
members of the opposite sex. Perhaps it is your upbringing,
your background or your environment, but you have not learnt
to respect girls as persons. Try to start to thinking differently.
Think of the hundreds of ways that girls and women contribute
towards your life and towards your well being. They are
much more than sex objects and till you realise this you
will always have such problems.
Dear
Mita,
I am 20 and studying at CU. My problem is that I am disappointed
and suffering from indecision which is interfering with
my studies. I have always dreamt of going to the UK to study
there at some reputed university. I have thus been struggling
to improve my English. A few months ago, I sat for IELTS
and got a satisfactory score by which I could get admission
into a university in the UK. But I've been depressed ever
since because I've heard from a friend that even if I get
a visa, I'll have to go to a college as university fees
are very high. As a second year student, I can't decide
whether I should go now and continue my study at a college
relying on a part time job or whether I should go after
completing my honours degree. Please give me some suggestions.
--NUR
Dear
NUR,
The decision is yours depending on your capability and financial
situation. However, it is better to go after completing
your honours. This gives you more time to get prepared and
the older you are the more capable you become of handling
the rigours of foreign life. Remember, it is not all honey
and roses out there.
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