::: Star Weekend Magazine :::

Writing the Wrong

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
– His Excellency, the Dalai Lama

Hindenburg, seconds after catching fire.

Kum Bai Ah

Sharbari Ahmed

The fact of the matter is: we are suffering terribly from that most pernicious of delusions, that of our disconnectedness from the rest of the human race.

At this moment, someone's heart is breaking -- for whatever reason -- who knows why? Who cares? The truth is, their heart now has a fissure running down the length of it, like a fault line and their structure is simply not up to code. They may well fall apart. They are being jarred, of course, but I will say that we are also feeling their tremors. Somewhere, in our own ganglion circuitry, something is firing, but we are so removed from our spirits that we ignore it. Maybe, back in the day, when we were more in touch with our humanity and our natural environment, when we took a moment to pray over the carcass of a recent kill and thank them for providing us with sustenance, we would have detected the vibrations at once. We would become suddenly alert, like meercats, and stop digging for fire ants, and sniff the air and go, “Hmm, something is amiss somewhere, someone is hurt. Poor thing.” And we would take a moment and pray for them, maybe. Who knows? I don't know how these ancients did it, but they did. Just look at the life of Gautama Siddhartha, or Mr. J. Christ, they were all about empathy. We can't feel others' pain too well now. I am not talking about the people we know, I am talking about people we have never and will never lay eyes on. I will argue that we have it in all of us to feel acutely, the pain of perfect strangers. Well, what's the point of that? You ask. How will I help someone by feeling their pain when they do not know I am doing it and I don't even know where they are? Buddhists would say it would be felt; your taking on the burden of another human's pain would be detectable. You are THAT powerful and collective empathy and good will is undeniable. Universal compassion is probably the most powerful force on earth, but it is said it must be taken a step further. Feel the pain, and actually take it on, and pray -- in whatever way you call upon The Force -- to dissolve that suffering.

It is advised to start this sort of meditation with oneself initially. Maitri, or compassion for self is paramount to being happy. Meditate and pray for the relief of your own suffering and then start the expansion. Pray for someone you love, whom you know is struggling. Imagine their worry and pain being absorbed by you and then pray for its dissolution. The third level is the toughest for me personally: pray for the pain of someone whom you actively dislike to be taken on by you and dissolved. I tried that once and ended up imagining myself causing that person more pain by punching her in the face. The satisfaction I derived from that vision was bordering on the criminal. My lips curled into an evil grin, and so I thought to myself: okay, girlie, just put that one aside for a while. You are not quite ready to be transcendent. (At this rate, I never will be, but I am not giving up on myself just yet). The last level, when one is ready, is to extend that compassion to everyone, to the universe at large. Take on the pain and breathe and imagine it dissipating seamlessly, for EVERYONE.

I know it seems implausible and like an epic waste of time. Honestly, I am a tangible results oriented person so when I started doing this, I kept thinking: well, how the hell am I going to KNOW that someone's pain is dissolving unless they call me or post it on Facebook? But then I started noticing that I felt better after these attempts and that it was easier for me to be tolerant and patient of others' tresspasses and in turn others seemed much more patient with mine. Now, this could all be my imagination, but so what? It beats antidepressants. I suppose, also, this is the very definition of faith. We can't see it, we can't touch it or smell it, but we know somehow, it is real.

I will let you in on a little secret. You know why I write all this lofty (I guess some would say, pretentious) stuff? It's because I am SO far from being a truly great human being that I believe if I write it down, for all to see, then I will be held accountable. I will have no choice but to be decent 24/7 to everyone, even those I resent, or am envious of. I never seem to learn my lessons the easy way, therefore, I must risk being exposed as someone who is so full of hot air she could fly the Hindenburg*. So, if you encounter me someday, and I am less than affable, I invite you to (gently, please) remind me of what I write and who I endeavour to be. I suppose that is my point. We cannot negotiate this mortal coil alone, people; we need help, and these sort of spiritual post-it notes. Sometimes we ignore God, because, let's face it, They can be too subtle at times; it's been a long time since we have seen a burning bush or used the bottom of the Red Sea as a pedestrian crosswalk. If I saw a shrub burst into spontaneous flame, I would dial 911 and have it put out. We may not, however, ignore a real, live human in front of us. Therefore, since we are all connected, it behooves us to come to one another's aid as frequently as possible, with very little evidence that it will be effective, to remind us of who we are and that we are not alone.

* A huge, cloth dirigible engineered by the Germans that went down in a mass of flames in NJ in 1937.