Facebook phreaks: Annoying things they do

This isn't about why its bad that Facebook is so addictive. Nothing clichéd like that. It's about annoying people who use Facebook. Everybody uses Facebook and as much as we hate to admit it, we are all hooked bait, line and sinker. Of course, everyone ridicules Facebook, yet no one finds it funny enough to remove themselves from the network permanently. Even those who boast of not having a Facebook account, usually have a secret account or use one of their friend's account to keep themselves updated. However, there are some who prowl the pages every second of their day and expect updates constantly. These people do some very annoying things. Things that get people killed.

Juicy Quizzes- 'Do you think “this user” is hot?' So someone answers the question for you and now you must know the answer right? Because, face it, human by nature is a curious creature. And when people start answering such juicy questions about you, it's time to know the answers. So, you click to find out but you can't because in order to do so, you have to answer 15 other questions. And then you have to add the application. Basically, you have to spend an hour on Facebook to find the answer to a question you need not know. Which makes you wonder why someone answered such a question in the first place. Why didn't that person have something better to do with their pathetic lives? Well, you ponder these while you answer fifteen stupid retarded questions and finally you reach the answer. Usually it's not what you were expecting and there goes the blood pressure.

Irrelevant Photo Tags- What is it like to be tagged at a photo you aren't in? You see the notification and your face lights up thinking that your photo is now on Facebook and it is given by someone else. Rare deal, right? Wrong. Because now you see it's not really your photo but it's a stupid photo of some stupid photo-shop work which your friend thinks is totally cool. Or worse, its one of those dumb photos having you tagged as 'Mr. Funny' or 'Mr. Loser' or whatever. The worst case is that it's some dumb mushy memory photo which asks you to share a memory, even though you can't remember when and why you added the person who tagged you. So it sucks a lot when that happens. Of course you want to kill yourself when useless cretins begin commenting on the photo and everyday you have a gazillion photo comments on a picture that isn't even yours. Get the glock. 44 ready.

Garden Games- You know your friends steal your crops? I had this little garden thing going on in Facebook and somebody actually stole my crops. Hours worth of tending an imaginary garden, for god knows what reason, and someone goes and steals your crop. Don't people using Facebook have conscience? Ok, sure it is a game, but that doesn't mean there wasn't patience involved to get those carrots ripe. Why would anyone steal your crop? Or even plant weed and stuff to destroy your crops? What kind of sick, sadistic form of entertainment does that constitute of? Why shouldn't someone take this thievery seriously? I hate thieves.

Wall Phreaks- Did you know there are people in your friend list who keep watch of your wall 24/7? Just as soon as someone writes on your wall, they make a comment on the wall post like it's their wall. Well, its not, it's my wall and only I have the right to make a comment on it. When will people understand not to poke their nose in other people's business? These people who comment on the wall-posts of someone else's wall are the worst kind of people. They are also the ones who make comments on photos about other people in the photo even though they know only one person. They think that they can make friends by commenting on random people's pictures. That is just so stupid.

Facebook is a good deal, no doubt. We all use it and enjoy it. If you don't go around spending your life sending chain messages, which are lies and stupid, and trying to get certain groups banned, you may just be good enough to be on Facebook. Provided you also refrain from the things aforementioned. People who have too much time should not be allowed on Facebook. There should be a time limit to Facebook usage. Idiots would then keep far off. Feel free to be offended. Feel free to express gratitude that someone took the words right out off your mouth. We all hate Facebook phreaks. Fact. Period.

By Osama Rahman

Real muscle cars

I like cars, but only those which are not higher in social status than me. So basically that means I hate most of them. I have a very simple view about cars. They are meant to be the resting places of our precious bottoms while we travel. So you can say that Ford Torino 1970 and FZR 2000 (is it real? I only used it in NFS 2™) make as much sense to me as they do to a chimpanzee in the Dhaka Zoological Garden. When people talk about V8 engines, 427 CID (7.0 L), 302-2V (standard on GT and Brogham models) I pick my nose or devour my fingernails (not in that order) whichever seems convenient. So now let's have a look at the 'real' muscle cars, those that need actual muscles:

Mercedes Begz:
The most popular form of transport for the vast beggar community dwelling in the city is the Marcedez Begz. They come in with a handy trolley or push cart. The tires are absent, which makes travelling on the surface, which people like to call road, all easy. Sources say that this amazing invention is being tested out by NASA for future missions on the moon. They say that the durability is amazing for a vehicle with such a small price tag. It is also amazing in the sense that it can perform feats not possible for the average cars (cars in Bangladesh are not average). As for the features of this car, it has built-in audio and video settings and GPRS tracking device. The songs stored are mostly religious, for example- 'Doyal Nobi Mustafay, Rasta Dia Haitta jay….' etc and the video being the endless struggle of mere mortals to earn their livelihood, which tends to be quite amusing for those having the inner Eye. Only thing that can be said against these super cars is that it is quite slow. But then again, if you can drive speedier at 8.30 am and 6 pm in Dhaka, come see me. You will have to lend me some cash.

The Nut-case:
As the name suggests, this type of car is made from the extra large barks of the betel nut tree. It runs completely on bio-fuel and solar energy and thus entirely environment friendly. Just sit tight on the seat and let a friend drag the car by the leaves coming out in the front side. As for the conversion of energy, the details are a bit complex and I don't know them full well but I can say that the glucose produced in the leaves of the trees in presence of sunlight and chlorophyll are consumed by the humans after a long food chain and this energy is converted to pull the car. Err… understand? It is perfectly suitable for this generation of climate change, though the safety cannot be guaranteed for your bottoms. But to gain something you have to lose something. Besides grown-ups are yet to be seen on board of the Nut Case. So history and Guinness book of world record await you. Go for it tigers and tigresses!

Bored Horsia:
You ask for horse power, this car gives you horse power, real horse power. This classic car is exclusive in the old town of the city and is quite cheap too. The horse-drawn carriage now a day is more of a public transport. But it is worthy of being in the garage of any 'khandani' person. After all, old is gold. Here's a way of showing exactly how popular the Bored Horsia was in the year 1579 in our country: the documents of its receiving “Car of the year” and “Jomidar's Choice” are missing. Detective agencies are still looking for them in the black market but to no avail up till now. Besides, if you buy one, you can use it for some extra cash making it go in the usual route from Sadarghat to Gulistan, 15 taka per head, or rather per person.
Anyone making deposits in the bank?

By Jawad

RS Mailbox

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Muscle wars
It's a fact of life that a Top 5 (or even 500) listing will always suffer from trailing disagreements. As the politically correct saying goes, one person's meat is another person's indigestion. Which leads me to wonder why more deserving cars were missing from Wahid T. Khan's article on top 5 muscle cars of all time?

Muscle cars are mostly an American thing; brash, powerful, cheap to manufacture (in other words poor handling) cars for the masses. And muscle cars were distinguished according to full size, mid size, compact and pony (which are all pretty large by our standards). Pony cars were the ones that came up to compete with the Ford Mustang (hence 'Pony'). Clear distinctions are still slightly blurry though.

While the Rebel and GTX were great, they weren't all that mainstream. And the Thunderbolt was initially a compact family car. Much more interesting cars like the Chevelle, Chevy Bel Air, Plymouth Barracuda, Camaro, Dodge Challenger, Pontiac TransAm and even the El Camino despite being a bit of a truck should have made the grade. And the list could go on. Despite being very well written and technically exhaustive, the article could have done with muscle cars that define the title. Unless of course, it's Wahid's personal choice.
Still, from one car guy to another, congrats on bringing cars back to RS.

E.R. Ronny

From the RS Desk,
The RS Editor requests E R Ronny to send us his car reviews that she so misses.

Corrigendum
We regret to inform the readers that due to an inadvertent error the writer's name was from was dropped from last week's article: “BRAC University Cultural Club Annual Program”.
The article was written by Adnan M S Fakir.