The week in re(ar)view
Okay, maybe the jail sentence is harsh enough. But these people would understand the enormity of the situation if they were made to consume ALL the adulterated food that they tried to sell.
Also, 2000 cartons of adulterated mosquito coil were also found at the factory. It is scary to think that poisonous mosquito coils are sitting side by side in a food factory. What's scarier is that these people may be the first of a weird breed of humans who are secretly activists for the preservation of mosquitoes. What scariest is how we put two and two together in such a manner.
The boy who cried “thief!”
The alleged burglar allegedly tried breaking into a house. As the members of the household screamed out for help, a mob caught up with the fleeing burglar and beat him. And then they continued beating him some more.
Tough luck for businesses
Apparently Bangladesh fell behind in nine indicators among ten. Before you had to deal with corruption, that you could bribe your way out of. Now you can't even do that without getting into trouble.
In context, Bangladesh is still ahead Nepal (at 111) and India (at 120). Incidentally, BD is the fourth easiest country in South Asia for doing business in. Of course, the best could mean the best of the worst.
The number of days needed to start a business in Bangladesh is 74 while the regional average is 42.6.
Bangla movies up in the sky
Let's hope all that heavy jumping and dancing otherwise known as dancing by large heroines won't bring the planes down.
Faridur Reza Sagar, managing director of Impress Telefilm, said films and entertainment programmes of refined taste are now being produced in Bangladesh. It would be nice to see such rare films.
By Gokhra and Mood Dude
The answers from the group were unanimous: "Two." "Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five because there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping."
Since there isn't much that can be done for broken ribs, he prescribed a pain killer and sent the man on his way. As the man turned to leave, he jokingly asked, "Is there anything you can recommend for my horse?" The doctor paused and thought for a moment, then said, "If it were me, I'd get another rider."
Boat business to go up
The World Bank has approved $75 million International Development Association (IDA) credit as flood assistance to Bangladesh. The money is going to be used to cover immediate needs for relief, livelihood support and reconstruction. Of course, it could also be used to buy some really nice cars for not so nice people.
Location: The Monkey cage in Mirpur Cheeriakhana (National Zoo)
What to wear: Only a Tarzan or Jane type cloth is allowed, make sure you put on plenty of really smelly anti mosquito cream on your body.
The Adda: This adda can be a little wild as topics usually range from discussion of preservation of wild animals in the zoos of our country to the preservation of your life from the wild animal in the cage. If you do not find any human friend willing to come with you then you can always talk with Chita or Chikita (your monkey adda partners). They are more than willing discuss the use of fertilizer in growing bananas quickly in the dense jungle, the way Bangladeshi banana planters do. Addas such as these tend to open up your brain to the brighter sides of life, as you become more apparent with Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Basically, this is the next stage of your evolution as an addabaz. Monkeys are also supposed to be good at picking lice from human hair, this may come handy if all else fail.
The cons: Well just be a bit careful of the visitors, as in their eyes, you are the more attractive animal and they will show their affection by throwing bananas, stones and gooey substances at you.
The next stage: if you have succeeded in being with the monkey, the next adda can take place in cage with Tiger or a Lion, so be mentally prepared.
By Monty Python
Alternate meanings turn up when you coin a new word from existing meanings. These have been created by readers of a U.S. newspaper. Although these are not incorporated into regular English and created just for fun, the new meanings are uncannily appropriate. If you have any such contributions send it t us and become famous (or infamous).
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
6. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.
11. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
Two friends chatting on the net:
Weed: Hey there. I had an awful day. Everything's going so wrong!
Gaanja: Dost, remember, whenever you are feeling down..its always because of gravatational pull! Hehehehe
Weed: Retard..lol. You high or something?
Gaanja: Yeah, high on sugar!
Weed: Thanx for cracking such bhua jokes, but its not helping. Catch ya later, bye.
Gaanja: Thank God! You're leaving. Mission accomplished..yeay!
Gaanja: Hey, weren't you supposed to go?
Weed: Yeah I was and I am going. I mean coming. Yaba just called, all of us are coming over to your place.
By Nayeema Reza
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