The week in re(ar)view

Polybags good as gold
Who would have thought that those plastic bags you threw away into drains and rivers would be so costly? A mobile court on 28 April recovered banned polythene bags worth Tk 30 lakh from six rooms of the first floor of 'Khan Building' at Khulna Barho Bazar last evening. If you had know that these were worth so much you would have saved it all and lakes form clogging up. Of course hoarding them could land you in jail but you could always say that you are saving the environment.

On a different not, 175 kilograms of date expired Indian powder milk were also recovered from the place. Maybe they will pack the milk in the plastic bags and throw them into rivers for safe disposal.

Identity crisis in Dhanmondi
Roads are no longer safe, safe from people who want to rename them. Yet another road goes through identity crisis as Dhaka City Corporation (DCC) on 28 April renamed Dhanmondi Road No. 15 (New), 28 (Old) of Dhanmondi as 'Justice Abdur Rahman Chowdhury Sarak' in recognition of his outstanding contribution in the Language Movement of 1952.

So now it has an old number, a new number and name. All it needs is a an abbreviation, a designation, logo, cryptic password and a nickname.

Current budget set to be downsized 5.9pc
Last week we were mentioning ways the government can improve their fund collection. We didn't know the situation was so bad that the government is going to downsize the current budget by 5.9. This is because of a decline in foreign aid as well as poor revenue collection.

This is despite the fact that Tk 270 crore illegal money of seven businessmen has been retrieved and deposited in the national exchequer. That money can buy about 300 luxury cars for MPs. Of course, MPs cannot buy such cars anymore. What a conundrum.

The original budget for the current fiscal year (FY06-07) is Tk 69,740 crore, and the revised estimate has set the figure at Tk 65,570 crore, by cutting Tk 4,170 crore, sources said. Maybe they can make up for the loss if they stop making unnecessarily expensive bridges and really short flyovers.

Banned TV
The government on 25 April has banned 10 television channels in Bangladesh, as their operations are contrary to the Cable TV Network Operation Act 2006. We don't quite understand what the clause is all about but it could not be about showing too much skin (except for Fashion TV). The channels are Channel V, Zoom, Ren TV, Fashion TV, AXN, Z Cafe, Music India, Cine Max, The Music and Trendz. While we don't' care about most of these channels, AXN will be sorely missed. What do we watch now that the gross occurrences of Fear Factor are banned? Guess we just step out and watch people walk through sewage drenched footpaths and eat date expired food at restaurants.

Take loans and be happy
Want to know which bank you should take a loan from? Try Sonali Bank. The state-owned Sonali Bank has waived Tk 129 crore interest on loans taken by one of the top loan defaulters, Mohammad Ali, also a business leader.

The interest was waived on condition that the borrower would pay back principal amount and other charges on the loans by this month, the amount being Tk 35.66 crore.

The business leader took the loans in a fraudulent process. And the bank has been treating those as bad loans since 1995. In banking terms, bad loans are loans the institution considers they will not ever get it back. So how can they have allocated such a huge chunk as bad loans under one single borrower?

"The loans were taken showing edible oil stock at Dhaka Vegetable Oil Industries plant but Sonali Bank officials later found that the containers were full of water instead of oil," said a high official of the bank.
Now that's the way to do business.

By Mood Dude and Gokhra

What to do: Stand in the middle of the bridge and start a gossip. Try to act a bit suspicious for example making eye contacts with the passing people. If you and your friends look vicious enough you might just be able to scare the hell out of any lonely passerby who will dash down the steps as soon as he is out of your reach. If you spot some modified Toyota with a spoiler as big as the fins of a blue whale, going under the bridge start shouting 'Boo-hoo' at the driver. Who if in the blaring noise of his revving engine notices it will turn red and call up his daddy to buy him a new car!

Pros: After an hour of gossip you will get to know about many worldly things like Paris Hilton has a ferret called 'Kinkachoo' and that Lindsay Lohan hates Paris Hilton and vice versa. Then see both your friends debate on who is hotter! This debate will be more enjoyable than the ones they show on TV! You will find out about much other knowledge that you do NOT usually find in your regular physics book. Among them the most noticeable ones are 'target practice with your snot when you take into consideration the wind speed, the earth's rotation and the atmospheric pressure' and '109 ways of getting rid of your boogers while in public.'

Cons: If you happen to be short of your friends you might find yourself begging your ipod back from complete strangers/ muggers. Fear not though! The muggers are usually kindhearted enough to only rob you of all your belongings, humiliate you in the public and then pepper spray on your eyes until you shout 'MOMMY'! As most people find the foot over bridge the most convenient place to get rid of snot, boogers etc after getting home you will find the sole of your shoe covered in precious substances you have never seen in your some-teen year's life! Usually these substances turn out to be radioactive. There is also a very good possibility of getting picked up by the police as a suspected mugger.

By Hitoishi Chakma

One of the things we think about a lot in the light of Labours' Day is the poor, underage children of our country that have to work to earn their living. These include children working in small tea shops, at selling sugarcane juice, construction sites, and even on the streets! However, how often do we think of what they want … of what they think? Do they not have dreams, wishes, and opinions too? This week's Vox-Pop topic focuses precisely on this, and here are some of their wishes and thoughts in response to the topic:

“I would like to become an actress and wear the beautiful dresses that they wear.” Sharmeen. Age: 14. Picks litter.

“I would like to do some type of job, like being a P.A. or something.” Faruk. Age: 10. A Tea Vendor.

“I want to be a doctor. Doctors are good!” Shirin. Age: 10. Sells flowers by the side of the road.

“Well, what I actually want to do is go back to my home village and be a farmer. Farming has a unique quality of its own. So sow seeds, to grow them, and then to harvest them, all of it has a special meaning to me. Plus, what I grow I can also eat myself. That's why I'd like to go and be a farmer.” Dulal (Khokon). Age: 17. Rickshawpuller.

“I would like to learn how to drive because I really like cars.” Wasib. Age: 11. Sells tea.

“I would like to do some kind of job preferably in some kind of factory.” Hasan. Age: 12/13. Sugarcane Juice Seller.

“I would like to become a doctor and cure people without taking too much money.” Hasan. Age: 10. Sells Chocolates.

“I would do whatever Allah wishes me to do. For example, if Allah wishes that I be the owner of ten flats, then that is what I would be. However, I suppose what Allah really wishes is for me to work here, in this shop. That's why I'm here.” Shoel. Age: 12. Works in a tea-shop.

“I want to teach little kids … yeah I want to be a teacher. No wait, I want to be a doctor like my sister Shirin. I want to write a book I can write “pakhi” and “haati”. Oh, no, I also want to be able to drive a car. No … I want to be an artist … no … mmm … so many things!!!” Sharmin. Age: 9. Also sells flowers by the side of the road.

Done By: Iftikhar Azam
With HUGE help from Osama, Hitoishi, and Nuzhat.

1. Topher Grace who plays Venom in Spiderman 3, left the hit series “That 70's Show” so that he can work in Spiderman.

2. Initially Director Sam Raimi didn't want to disclose that he was going to introduce Venom. During the Casting and Pre Production, he even went on to say that he hated the Venom character. But Later surprised the audience by showing them first screenings of Venom without the special effects.

3. Topher Grace and Haden Church (Venom and Sandman) didn't know which roles they were offered to be casted as they were called by Sam Raimi.

4. John Dykstra, who won an Oscar for his work as visual effects supervisor on Spider-man 2, had declined to work on the third film. Instead, Dykstra chose to work on Hot Wheels. Scott Stokdyk took over as visual effects supervisor.

5. The release date for Spiderman 3 was set even before Spiderman 2.

By Monty Python

And so...we found out yet another reason to celebrate life and its days. What with politicians squeezing the fun out of us with their boring "come-and-get-out-of-the-country" act and drowning us in feets of wretchedness, we thought it would be nice to actually do something different and celebrate life as it is...Here is a week's worth of reasons as to why life can be awsome if we let it be:

Thursday(3rd May): Raspberry Popover Day; National Day of Prayer.

Friday(4th May): International Respect for Chicken's Day (go figure); International Firefighter's Day; Significant Other's Day; and Orange Juice Day.

Saturday(5th May): International Midwives' Day; Chocolate Custard Day;

Sunday(6th May): No Diet Day; Nurses' Day;

Monday(7th May): School Day(hehe...go ahead...celebrate!); Robert Browning's Birthday;

Tuesday(8th May): World Red Cross Day; Teacher Day; Senior Citizens Day;

Wednesday(9th May): School Nurse Day; Tear Tags Off Mattresses Day; Receptionists Day;

Now...There are also a bunch of people who were born on these days, a BIG Happy Birthday to all those of you. See?...That was easy! Now go ahead and have fun. I'm signing off.

Thanks to 123Greetings.com for their very cool event's calender.

By LoonyKim

Not really the Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything...

In the beginning there was nothing.
In the end, there'll be nothing.
In the middle is a large floth of garbled gibberish.
That's that. And now you know.

By SS Emil