The valentine bug

Fahmina Rahman

14th February…Valentine's Day…sends a rush of mushiness all through you, doesn't it! Our lovely Dhaka suddenly becomes a filmy backdrop for all our Dhakaiya lovebirds, with hormones flying all over the place, songs in the air, poems sugarcoated to the verge of getting you diabetics, while Archies and Hallmarks makes profit unparalleled in any time of the year. Well, given the fact that there is absolutely no one who hasn't been bitten by the Valentine Bug, we at the RS have decided to take a quick survey of the teenage scene on D-Day. And trust me, no matter how indifferent you may feel towards the whole 14th Feb mania, you'll definitely identify yourself in at least one of these groups. Seriously.

Love only- the Dhakaiya ishtyle
Because of this special group of people, songs like “o re Sokina…tore chara bachina” can still be heard in full volume. Their signature mark has got to be that ultra intensive ray of mushiness that they radiate at all times, with that unmistakable craving to look like they have just walked out of a hindi film. They can be seen in abundance around Dhanmondi Lake on 14th Feb, with the girls dressed up in clothes that rival the most glistening bridal wear, and the guys…well they don't look much different really, although the increased amount of gel sort of makes it look like an overdose of Tibbet Kodur Tel. Most of these couples find telephones, and emails, and well, directly talking to each other inefficient methods of communication. Their alternative solution comes in the form of love letters (like DUH) that are filled with phrases directly taken from a few, or all Shahrukh Khan movies. This one guy I am unfortunate enough to know gave a laminated maple leaf with some mushy crap written on it to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day. Now…which film was that again?

Flying hormones
Have you ever had the embarrassing experience of sitting between your parents with your head bent low while the couple in the next booth made out with special sound effect that literally echoed on the walls? Or maybe you have witnessed a burkha clad lady unveiling her face to give her boyfriend a lovely long smooch. Anyways…needless to say, hormones running all over the place, public or not, has got to be the signature mark of this…erm...'shame-full' group of people. On Valentine's Day, well, let's just say they become even more full of dignity and shame. Need I say more?

2 cool 2 furious
These guys take their gals out to the most expensive places, in shiny silver cars (unwillingly, and unknowingly lent by their dads) and their range of Valentine's Day gifts include, well anything and everything that is EXPENSIVE. Perfumes, big fat teddy bears (low cost cute ones not included…I mean come on…it's a matter of their prestige!) Everything that they do and say almost always screams show off, and more than often, for the girls, it gets sort of difficult deciding if the only two romantic things he says (you look beautiful, I love you), are fake or not. Hormones fly in this group as well, but generally, it is restricted to non-public places, or public places where everybody else is too busy with their own hormones to notice.

Practical love
Practical people in practical love. In this group of people, love kind of lacks that magical aura, but it definitely is more realistic. Nope, there are no songs flying in the air, poems dripping with honey, and definitely no fake praises or promises. It's real love amongst real people, and unique because, well at least, Shahrukh Khan isn't being copied here. People in this group don't just celebrate Valentine's Day with their boyfriends or girlfriends, they celebrate it with the people they love. Gifts are given to parents, best friends, and needless to say, that special someone as well. And the best thing, people in this group are more concerned with making their loved ones happy than showing the entire world that they are in love. If you have decided to give your special someone a self made card or gift on Valentine's Day this year, Archies and Hallmark might hate you, but trust me you're better off than most people.

Miserably Single
Do you hate Valentine's Day? Do you have a secret desire of strangling Cupid and stealing all his arrows? Do you stare at the card shops at times and want to set them on fire? If you do, congratulations, you're a part of this single and miserable group! People who have been unfortunate in love are probably going to be a part of this group, although I must say, staring at other happy couples and cursing them under your breath is really not going to make you feel any better! So honestly, relax!

You might not have that special someone yet, but you do have others who love you a lot…your friends and family. So celebrate the day with them. And pssst…secret advice, if you really want to have some fun on V-Day, go to Dhanmondi Lake with a bunch of your single friends and throw tomatoes at the smooching couples around every corner. If you get beaten up after that…well…all your fault, how dumb are you to take my lousy advice?!

Single and loving it
This is by far the coolest group of people ever! Single and enjoying life to the fullest. Their motto…why waste this day with one guy/gal, when there are so many guys/gals out there to tankify with? You can two time, three time, even four time, without being called a cheat! Now that's what I call freedom of choice! Although for all you people who are single and loving it, give going out with ONE person a shot, you might as well enjoy life a lot more than you think!

Well…that's about it. Now, I realize there are tons of other groups as well, and maybe you don't identify with any of the groups here, but whatever, at least now you're more aware about the people around you! And this is a special request…please don't kill me if your viewpoint largely differs from mine. Everything I wrote in here has been from my own observations. And last but not least…HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY! We hope you have a huge blast!