The week in re(ar)view
If it ain't here it ain't happening

Big brother is here
December 7 there was a report on government thinking about allowing law enforcement rights to tap telephones. We guess their thinking is rather limited. With such freedom the law enforcement agencies will have another excuse to incarcerate just about anyone on anything. Just imagine the number of people who hate the government or the opposition. Heck, that's just about everybody. Everyone wishes the “other” party leaders they support would die horrible deaths being pecked to pieces by drug overdosed flu afflicted birds.

Not only that people may have to seek permission to purchase cell phone subscriptions. What's next on the agenda? We have thought of proposing a bill that makes it mandatory for the citizens to get a government approval to breathe. After all, with so little oxygen left in the air someone has to make sure it isn't all used up indiscriminately.

The sky is the limit
8 December there was another report of yet another RAJUK (Rajdhani Unnayan Kartipakhkha) related disaster. This time the High Court has passed an order preventing building of 8 storey high buildings along the avenues of Gulshan, Banani, and Baridhara. RAJUK officials say they have not received any such order and are busy handing out permits to build such tall buildings. Since we have a solution to everything we suggest that the top floors not be called by any number. In fact, we suggest doing away with numbers completely. Let's refer to each floor by alphabets starting with A designating the ground floor. As a famous man once said, where there is a loop hole there is a way. Unfortunately, the man could not be famous due to his name being omitted because of a loop hole. We although like to call him the RCT (Resident Conspiracy Theorist).

National anthem is not 'Bangla' enough
9 December there were reports of more JMB related targets. This time there were tons of educational institutions on the black list. What's really weird is that in Sadar upazila at least 5 schools have been threatened with bomb explosions in case they sing the national anthem. The reason is that the national anthem is a not a true Bangla song. It's Indian or some such. Dam! Why couldn't we have JMB back in school when we had to sing the song come rain or shine.

By Gokhra and Mood Dude

Laff lines

Dead Frog
A teacher had a 5-year-old come up to her and say that he had found a frog.
The teacher asked, "Is the frog alive or dead?"
The student replied, "It's dead."
The teacher asked, "How do you know for sure?"
The boy said, "I pissed in its ear."
Aghast, the teacher said, "You did what?"
He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, Psst and it didn't move. So, it must be dead."

God Will Help Me
There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.
Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
So, the man in the boat drove off.
The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in.
Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
The person in the boat then left.
The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in.
Jim said, "That's okay."
The woman said, "Are you sure?"
Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me."
Finally, the water rose too high and Jim drowned. Jim got to heaven and was face-to-face with God.
Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What happened?"
God replied, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?"

Penguins Go to the Zoo
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

Good Deeds
A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago, I also gave a homeless person a quarter."
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that it was true.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."

Guaranteed groaner
A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will.
At his lawyer's office, he threw his will on the table and said, "This needs an heircut."

Young Explorer's Society
We've been following them on their travels around the country, and they're about to embark on another exciting journey. The Young Explorer's Society (YES), in collaboration with the Poribesh Bachao Andolon (Save the Environment Movement), are making a trip to the Sundarbans.
Leaving on December 29, they will go from Dhaka to Bogi, then Kotka, Karamjal, Hiron Point and back, returning to Dhaka on January 2, 2006.
If YOU want to be part of this exciting trip, then make sure you get in touch with YES.
The address to mail to is [email protected] .
YES is located at
1, Shiddeshwari Lane,
Ramna,
Dhaka 1212
Cell: 0172-542128, and 0174-007006
RS Desk

Notre Dame English Club
Notre Dame English Club (NDEC) the nineteenth club of the college has been inaugurated recently (October'05). The club has been established with a vision to assist the students of the college in learning English, to use English in everyday life fluently and make them skilled in English thereby.
The club will organise interactive events like Extempore speech, English debate, Language Quiz, Literary quiz, creative writing competition etc. in-house and inter-college level. The club will also organise workshops or trainning sessions on different aspects of English like pronunciation, punctuation, vocabulary, translation and English for everyday purpose etc.
The principal of the college Fr. Benjamin Costa CSC inaugurated the club in a very informal programme where vice-principal and club coordinator Fr. Bakul S Rozario was present as special guest. Two teachers of the college Nirjhar Adhikary and Fr. George Komol Rozario were been selected as the moderator and co-moderator respectively.
NDEC has a goal to organise an English festival at international level. The club was founded following the five students successful participation to an international literary festival this year organised by City Montessori School, Lucknow, India.

A day with intellectually differently able people
On the second of December 2005, UNICEF Bangladesh and Ramna Branch SWID (Society for the welfare of intellectually disabled people) jointly organized a seminar titled “Guidelines for Reporting on Intellectual Disability”.
The program kicked off with a recital from the Quran, by one of the children involved in the program. His delivery was outstanding and was testament to the amount of training put in behind the effort.
The program continued with a welcome speech delivered by Sajida Humayan Kabir and a Keynote paper presented by Jawaherul Islam Mamun, Secretary General of SWID. Runa Laila, who was special guest of honor also took the stage and described her real life experience with the Disabled.
The whole program was a humbling experience and one, which I hope will force the relevant authorities into action so as to fulfill the dreams of these children and make them an asset to the country for the future.

By I.M. Tanjin Ahsan

Trivia

1. Which planet has all it moons named after characters in plays written by
William Shakespeare?
2. What were the names of the four sisters in Louisa May Alcott's novel
'Little Women'?
3. Which is the nearest star to the solar system?
4. Which English bowler was hit for six sixes in one over by Sir Garfield
Sobers?
5. In which year was the first Olympic Games held?
6. What is the capital city of Morocco?
7. Which is the smallest known insect in the world?
8. Which famous novel did the sister of the author of 'Jane Eyre' and
'Villette' write?
9. Mesopotamia, the oldest civilization in the world, is which present day
country?
10. Which five countries make up Scandinavia?

Answers:
1.Uranus
2. Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy
3. Proxima Centauri
4. Malcolm Nash
5.776 BC
6. Rabat
7. The feather-winged beetle
8.Wuthering Heights
9.Iraq
10. Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Norway and Iceland
If you answered:
0-2 questions: trivia is definitely not your thing
3-5 questions: a commendable amount of erudition in trivia
6-8 questions: Evidently, you possess quite a lot of general knowledge
9-10 questions: An absolute genius, without a doubt!