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Too smart or too dumb?
You decide

Bank Loan
A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.

The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Chinese replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

The Whole Truth
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way." I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

Eating Grass
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one of the men "Why are you eating the grass?" "We don't have money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then," instructed the lawyer.
The man answered "But sir, I have a wife and two children!
"Bring them along" replied the lawyer. The lawyer turn to the other man and said, "Come with us."
"But sir, I have a wife and six children?" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!" replied the lawyer as he headed for his limo. They all climbed into the limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows says "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem. The grass at my house is almost a foot tall."

Tête-à-tête


Thought of the week:
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr."

Hey all,
I hope you liked Zulquar's cover on books and reading. I must say I agree with him in that 'real' literature is anything that sparks your imagination and makes you think; whether that's Thomas Hardy or the Hardy Boys is up to you. Having said that, there's hardly anything more satisfying than having a rollicking good read, and then finding someone to discuss it with.

That's why, dear readers, the Rising Stars is proud to announce its very own book club! Starting this week, if you've read the books we've reviewed, you can mail us back with your thoughts and your own critical analysis. We'll also be featuring Lit trivia in the column from time to time. For the mailto address, check out this week's review on Page 6.

That said and done, I received a letter from 'Someone Somewhere', and s/he says:

"I am a believer of Islam and I would like to know other people's views on Islam- why they believe in it or don't believe in it. I know this topic has never been discussed in this column before, and well topics like this being too controversial are usually avoided in RS. But I am just asking for their opinions and I'm not insulting anyone's belief or anything and I think being a reader of RS I have this much right. If people don't respond to this mail, I'd understand that none of the readers of RS have ever given a thought to religion and I won't write on this topic again. But please do introduce this topic in tête-à-tête. After all, this column was meant for discussion of various subjects. Other controversial topics has been discussed and why should there be discrimination against religion? Leave it to the readers of RS to decide whether or not they want anything related to religion printed."

Well? Any thoughts to share? Write in and let us know. Till next week, take care!

Send your polls, love letters, hate mails, and opinions to [email protected], or mail me at my yahoo address at [email protected]

By The Girl Next Door

Shout Out

Hey people!
If you were born sometime between March 21st and April 20th your star sign is probably Aries. The Arian is a pioneer both in thought and action, very open to new ideas and a lover of freedom. They welcome challenges and will not be diverted from their purpose except by their own impatience, which will surface if they don't get quick results. They are easily bored and need constant refreshment of new fuel. They also like travelling and always want to be 'number one' and possess a courageous spirit that encourages confidence in others. Here's shouting out to all the Arians of the world: Happy Birthday!

'Because I feel that in the heavens above
The angels, whispering one to another,
Can find among their burning terms of love,
None so devotional as that of "Mother".'
Ammu, Happy Birthday! I miss you so badly.
Lots of love
-Amy & Shomi
Singapore
March 31, '05

Hi Dola Apu (Independence baby)
I just want to remind you that you will be one more year older on this 26th march and now you have to think about managing a "DULABHAI" for me seriously. LOLZ. Deserving a huge treat from you on the great day. Ikebana and Orchid wishes on your birthday..
$Hhh...o@ib

Priyanka Miss,
Happy Birthday (23rd March) ... First of all I want to say I really miss DT Mid section and other teachers a lot and specially you! Hope you had fun on your special day and hope you're fine. You rocked when you were our
teacher in Mid section ... Thanks for everything !
Once again Happy Birthday to You
Faiz :-)

Dear Tasnuva,
I am proud to have a friend like you. Wish you a very happy birthday(28 March).I wish you happiness throughout your life and thanks for being the way you are. Bye!! Stay happy.
From
Devil's best friend (Mughni).

Hello my school friends, where are you guys? I am shouting for you guys!! Students from Khulshi Cherry Grammar K.G School which is in Chittagong. Dip, Pinky, Zunaid, Sunny, Sharmin, Mehezabin and my other school friends...Where are you guys? I am Shawon (Sharif)...I have completed H.S.C in 2004 and I think you guys have done that also.
Contact me soon at [email protected] or [email protected] if u guys have heard my shout.

Hi all,
This is Hasan, Hasan Tawfique... I left Universal Tutorial in 1999 when I was in class 4. If any of you reading this were my class mates at U.T. mail me at [email protected]... if you don't remember me u might know these fellows... Tarek, Tanjid, Jishan, Asif, Intisaab, Sumaiya, Fargana, Dipannita... anyway.... I've still got contact with some of them, some of them I see at my coaching, well they either don't recognize me or are pretending not to do so! This one goes out for those who are ignoring me.... Listen pals.... I'm the same Hasan you used to know... so you can come up and talk to me.... and can count on ma words!
so then... adios amigos...

Hello Sanj ...
I have the `Shabolamban" essay with me. When do we meet again? Pick a word & send it my way,
Khalid.

Hey everyone, my exams are going on. So please pray for me. Best wishes for Rakhipu, Mishu & everyone who will be reading this shout out. Sayem.

By the Hitch-hiker

[ ATTENTION: This column is NOT responsible for any negative (or otherwise) outcome of the messages printed in it. Please do NOT abuse the column by using it to play pranks etc. Also, all personal information including email addresses and telephone numbers will be printed at the sender's expense and we do NOT take ANY responsibility for any inconvenience to anyone. ]

Fun facts

On average, four people a day call Graceland and ask for Elvis.
Dolphins jump out of the water to conserve energy. It is easier to move through air than water.
A rat can tread water for three days straight.
Collectors of dolls are called "plangonologists."
Giants baseball catcher Roger Bresnahan introduced shin guards in 1907.
It is illegal in Pacific Grove, California, to threaten or kill a butterfly.
Wonder Woman's bracelets were made of a substance called feminum.
Julio Iglesias was a lawyer before he became a music star. Comedian John Cleese is a lawyer, too.
"Tonsurphobia" is the fear of haircuts.
George Washington was the only President never to live in the District of Columbia.
Earlier penguins were capable of flight.
In drug parlance, "Baby T," "Kokomo," "Beemers," "Hotcakes," and "Bad" are all slang for crack cocaine.
The average human eye can distinguish about 500 different shades of gray.
The expressions "pipe down," "kick the bucket," "over the top," and "ticked off" were first coined by soldiers in the trenches during World War I.
The Amish never initiate lawsuits, and won't defend themselves against them.
The maximum life-span of a goldfish in captivity is 25 years.
A group of cobras is called a "quiver."
The only continent without reptiles is Antarctica.
Manorama, a comic actress in India, has had more leading roles than any other actor or actress in the history of film. Her career started in 1958, and by 1985 had appeared in her one-thousandth movie.

By John Doe

 
 

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