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       Volume 11 |Issue 18 | May 04, 2012 |


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Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita.
I'm a girl of 15. I'm not allowed to step out from home alone. About two months ago I met a guy through facebook. For some time we chatted, and then we talked on the phone. From the very beginning of our friendship, I felt a kind of attraction for him. He felt the same for me. At one point he asked me out. Even after knowing that I wouldn't be able to make our relationship work out or meet him regularly, I accepted him because I feared I would lose him if I refused, and he'd ask someone else out. Then we dated each other for a month or so, and then he started pressuring me to meet up with him (which I expected). But I knew I wouldn't be able to do so. Then after some time I broke up with him without letting him know the reason. I didn't know then that he had such a massive impact on my mind and heart. Then after some time he removed me from facebook and cut me out of his life completely and went into a relationship with another girl. I was so depressed that I couldn't help but add him again. Then we chatted and I told him that I couldn't stop loving him, and I wanted him back. But he refused saying that when he wanted to be with me I didn't care, and now that he's happy in a relationship, he can't leave his girlfriend for me. He then immediately removed me from his friends list. I haven't yet gotten over him. I think about him all the time. I think I am deeply in love with him. Now what should I do to get him back or get over this depression?

Dear Heartbroken,
I know you are sad now but believe me, you will get over it soon. The boy has moved on and so should you. It is no use hanging on to a relationship that is over or has no future. You will get over the depression only if you decide you want to get over it. Find other friends, get involved in fun activities that interest you, divert your mind to other things. Most importantly, convince yourself that it is over and there will be wonderful things in your life in the future. Frankly, it is not such a good idea to get involved with someone permanently at your age.

Dear Mita,
For the last few days I have been watching all these TV shows about abduction. I have become increasingly worried about my safety after watching these. I worry that I might be kidnapped anytime anywhere. Given the situation of our country this is not an irrational fear. I am scared of everyone around me, especially law enforcement officers and political activists. I rarely leave my house but even then, I feel unsafe. Please tell me what I should do.

Dear IS,
I know there are news of kidnappings and disappearances but please don't get paranoid about it. There are millions of people in the country who are living in security and leading normal lives. Although there are cases of ordinary people getting victimised, mostly the violence, abductions and disappearances surround people involved in politics, business etc. I strongly condemn such acts and wish our law enforcers did a better job in protecting citizens. However, please do not allow this to disrupt your normal life. Take necessary precautions such as not staying out very late, go out in a group if possible, always leave your phone number at home and the number of a friend etc. Such simple precautions may help you to feel safe and continue your day to day activities.

Dear Mita,
I have recently been told by my friends that I have a body odour problem. I was really ashamed when they told me, infact they didn't tell me they wrote me an email about it. They said they have been noticing for quite a while but they didn't know how to tell me but now no one wants to get in a car with me or share clothes or sit next to me in a restaurant. I was hurt by this but also surprised because I never realised I had this problem. I shower regularly and use deodorant. It's true that I sweat a lot but I use anti perspirant so I don't get how I can still smell bad. I have been very depressed and avoiding my friends who wrote the email. I asked my sister if I smelled bad and she said I did sometimes but she was used to it now. What should I do?

Dear Smelly,
Some people do smell strong in spite of showering or using deodorant. Over perspiration is one reason but it mostly happens due to abnormal secretion from the sebaceous gland. You might want to contact a skin specialist because sometimes this may be due to an infection. However, the most common remedy is to take extra care to be spotlessly clean. Take showers twice if necessary. Keep deodorant or anti-perspirant in your bag so that you may use it frequently. Don't allow sweat to remain in your body for long. Clean your self as frequently as possible. Finally, don't let this effect you to the extent that you stop mixing with your friends. Take them in your confidence, seek help from them and try to solve the problem together.


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