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     Volume 9 Issue 13| March 26, 2010|


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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a third year Honours student. I have been in a relationship with a 19-year-old for girl for two years. I would like to marry her after graduating but she's pressuring me to do so now. I love her very much but don't know what to do. Please help.
A Boy

Dear Boy,
There should be no pressure on matters of love and marriage. If you are not ready to marry her now then tell her so in as many words. I am sure she will understand and moreover this is not the right age for her to get married also. She should put her mind to getting an education and start to think of a career.

Dear Mita,
I am a third year university student. I have fallen in love at first sight with a girl in her first year. She is Hindu and I am Muslim, but this does not matter to me. She, however, rejected my love on the basis of our different faiths. I approached her through my friends and after she refused me they are hostile towards her, and she is also hostile towards me, giving me dirty looks. I turn to stone in front of her, especially when I see her angry. I can do anything and everything for her. What should I do?
N

Dear N,
She is only in 1st year and is just not ready for love at this stage. You should respect this and leave her alone. The question of faith is important for many people and that should be respected also. There is plenty of time for you both to grow up and decide on serious relationships. Saying you can do anything for her is not enough. The question is can you leave her alone if that is what she wants?

Dear Mita,
I am a 25-year-old woman. I am very unstable emotionally. I often experience extremes of happiness as well as depression (the former is more common and I'm usually very lively, which is why it's very noticeable when I'm not). Not like clinical depression, but just . . . moodiness, I guess. At times like these, I don't feel like talking to anyone unless I have to. I don't always have a reason to be sad or upset; sometimes I do and these will trigger it but then the real reason will be lost and I'll just end up feeling . . . down. At times like these, I don't even feel like talking to friends or people I like. Is this normal or is there something wrong with me?
Moody

Dear Moody,
I would not say that something is wrong with you but have it checked by a professional person, a trained psychologist or psychiatrist. Meanwhile, take a little time to think what triggers this mood in you, try to get to the bottom or the root cause and work backwards. Even if you don't feel like talking to anyone, confiding in someone you like and trust can act as a good therapy for this. One positive thing is you are mostly in a good mood and your moodiness or depression is rare. I think with some counselling you should be able to get over it.

 

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