Not so Sweet 17 SMSs

Chintito

You may have already heard or read most of this week's contents, what with SMS being the latest in-thing in mobile culture. While modesty more than cowardice prevents me from repeating all that I receive digitally, there are some that concern us nationally.
SMS 1: Last week a prisoner almost managed to get out of a district jail by wearing a face cover that hid his nose and mouth. Asked the sentry at the gate what was the matter, replied the detainee with a degree of gambhirjo: 'Sars'. Fortunately for the hand of the law, one intelligent policemen (Yea! They are not totally extinct), noticed the gait of the prisoner and could identify him just in time.
SMS 2: They say hot chillies are a good protection against SARS. You should have just enough so as not to catch ulcer. That is of course not the real reason why the price of chillies is going up, making the situation even hotter.
SMS 3: Price of vegetables spiralling because of some Sirs.
SMS 4: Good to see that many of the major roads in municipal Dhaka are gradually becoming pliable. This may not be all that a good omen for BNP in terms of the polls.
The last AL government made hundreds of miles of roads all across the country, especially in rural areas. They lost by thousands of votes.
SMS 5: Bangladesh Bank will try to save money, as that is their major task. Nothing abnormal about that! One quick way to do that is to retrench its large pool of staff. Good thinking! Threatened B. Bank staff will get angry and kick director's car to send across their message. Nothing wrong with that either! One of B. Bank's directors is an ear, nose and throat specialist. Bankers are being sacked and doctors are getting bank jobs. You don't need an ENT specialist to tell you that that stinks.
SMS 6: Ripley's are interested in the ENT-BB story. Believe it or not!
SMS 7: What more can the BCB do? They have recruited a proven coach, who is eulogised by the local media. I only hope Dav is mature enough not to take these into his head, and get down to giving us the willpower to win. At the end of the day, the cricketers, pampered unduly over the years, have to perform. Otherwise, in spite of Whatmore, Bangladesh cricket may be little more than no more.
SMS 8: Whatever happened to those 40 D-grade motor vessels? What are their names? On which route do they ply? Are the passengers aware that they are boarding a defective motor launch?
SMS 9: News of fatal traffic accidents is least read news item in a newspaper.
SMS 10: Bepawroa bus and truck drivers should be chained to their vehicles in the 'gate-lock' spirit, so that they cannot abscond even after the vehicle involved in an accident is detained by tawtpawr police.
SMS 11: Street rallies in observance of certain days should be abolished. They serve no purpose other than provide the meagre number of participants with oversized T-shirts and silly paper hats. Of course, their purpose of stopping traffic at peak hour is well achieved.
SMS 12: Many more people have written letters to the Editor on ZIA's Arabic sign and on Banya's mispronunciation than on hundreds of innocent poor people dying unnecessarily at the hands of killer launch owners each and every year.
SMS 13: Lucky for us. Government has no plans to appoint bankers to medical colleges. SMS 14: Launch owner travels by road. Although more expensive for him, it is much safer for him.
SMS 15: Launch owner advises business partner to travel by launch, saying it was very relaxing; did not say for whom.
SMS 16: Arabic man landing at ZIA was furious when he found out that he was in the wrong airport. He could read the sign.
SMS 17: A piece of advice: Delete all your messages because it creates space for new ones. More importantly, someone else may read them.