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|Volume 11 |Issue 33| August 17, 2012 ||
Being a bitter single man, I have developed an obsession of throwing eggs at random couples who come to Dhanmondi Lake for dating. One day, while I was at it, one of the eggs I threw hit a beefy young man.
To my utter surprise, the man jumped on his feet, paused decisively for a moment and then came directly at my direction. Measuring his size, I reckoned that I could not fight him. So I threw the rest of the eggs at his face and began to run. But he caught me in no time. He told me to say goodbye to the world I know, because he was a member of the elite force without the usual pitch dark clothes. I must have looked incredulous, because he tore off his shirt with a sudden move to show me the hundreds of bullet marks from “crossfires” and “gunfights”, to prove his identity. He charged me for possession and use of illegal weapons namely 'eggs', saying that firearms had gone out of fashion since the government is very concerned about human rights. Then he hurled me into a large SUV and covered my face with a black cloth. Since then I have been cured of my obsession.
With the price of everyday essentials rocketing through the stratosphere, I needed to increase my income before the last Eid. As a cop, I worked at the police check post near the Gulshan 2 intersection at night shifts. One night, my colleague and I signaled a car with a very loud and huge exhaust. We were excited at the thought that some 16-year olds were driving the car and would bribe us "properly" if we scared them out of their wits.
On the contrary to what we had expected, three well-built men stepped out of the car and before we knew what was happening, they snatched our guns and were asking for the money we earned that day. Actually, we earned a lot more than usual that day. We gave them everything we earned as bribes. Then the hooligans told us to get rid of our uniforms and asked to swim in the stinking Gulshan Lake. While we undressed and thought about the absurdity of the situation, the men disappeared with the car. We found our guns a few yards away but the pants were gone. I hope, any policeman who happens to read this will be cautious about those freaks before Eid.
FLIGHT OF TERROR
I was travelling to the States, and took the flight from Dhaka to New York on Baiman Airlines. On our way, we had a half an hour stop at Delhi where we were informed that the previous Baiman flight had left behind their transit passengers, and the airline would be charged $3000 if our flight couldn't accommodate them. Since we were already so full that business class passengers were travelling in economy, the flight attendants were in a dilemma which they tried to solve by adopting several strategies, the first of which was to kick some of us off the flight. They demanded to see our boarding passes which most of us had discarded and said we must step off the plane if we could not find them. There was mass panic after which they changed their strategy and said we would be taking on extra passengers who would have to share our seats during take off and landing. “But it's unsafe! What about seatbelts?” someone asked. “These things happen,” replied a stewardess. And share we did and it was absolutely terrifying. After take off, we took turns sitting on the floor of the plane. Needless to say, that was the last time I took Baiman anywhere.
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