Write
to Mita
Dear
Mita,
I have become a doctor after a lot of struggle. I wasn't planning
on getting married or even engaged to anyone any time soon,
but my father, who is 90, really wants to see me married as
I am his youngest son. My mother wants me to marry a doctor
and because of this I proposed to a girl at my college. She
did not say anything at first but later refused me. I was
shocked and decided that I wouldn't ever accept her even if
she approached me. Some days later, she did, crying and promising
that she wouldn't behave like that again, and that if I didn't
marry her she would commit suicide. Two months later, she
left me again, saying it was a mistake. She was my first love
and I can't forget her. How can someone leave someone after
making so many promises? What should I do?
--Destitute
Dear
Destitute,
Unfortunately you have become involved with an immature
and foolish girl. She does not know her mind and is basically
undecided. You should get over this affair as soon as possible.
Life holds many good prospects for you and therefore you should
not allow something like this to bother you too much. Take
your time in choosing the right partner as marriage is a very
serious business. Do not rush into it no matter what the pressure.
Get to know young women who might appear to be suitable and,
at the right time, take a decision. You might be disappointed
again but that does not matter as long as you make the right
choice in the end.
Dear
Mita,
I am an Honours student of Dhaka College. A year and a half
ago, I met a girl at a coaching centre where I both learn
and teach English. She is shy, delicate and quiet. I liked
her from the very beginning and still do. But when I tried
to talk to her I didn't get any response. Somehow, we became
friends about four months ago, but she still hardly talks
to or looks at me and I feel as if she doesn't give me as
much importance as I give her. I have no intention of taking
this further than friendship but am disappointed in her attitude.
Is she taking it any other way? Is this real friendship? What
should I do -- continue or cut it off?
--Stupid Shun
Dear
Stupid Shun,
Just take it easy. She must be a shy person and needs
time to open up. Do not push this any further. If she feels
the need of a friend she will come to you. Just be sincere
and honest in your dealing with her. Do not embarrass her
with too much attention and let her be. Some people take longer
to open up and perhaps this is just her style.
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