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<%-- Page Title--%> Reader's queries <%-- End Page Title--%> |
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| <%-- Page Title--%> Issue No 170 <%-- End Page Title--%> | December 19, 2004 |
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Q:
May I ask you the question that whether parents have any legal right to
forcefully decide over the marriage of their adult son or daughter? Your
Advocate: Your thought seems to have taken a new dimension and
bears a testimony of rebelliousness against our long standing social values.
In the advanced societies of the West individualism has reached such a
stage that the parents and teachers are even taken to account for a bit
of excess in controlling their children or in birching a bit for their
good. Therefore, children and youths in those societies enjoy much greater
personal freedom in all respects. In our society, by contrast, parental
and social control is much stricter, some times unnecessarily cruel and
egoistically oppressive. The questions of egoism and cruelty apart, so
far as the question of controlling children are concerned, I must confess
I am still confused as to which one is better- the western permissiveness
or our possessiveness. It is no denying that the two social contexts are
different. So it is difficult to come a conclusion straightway. My mind
still dwells on the idea that middle course is possibly the best. The spontaneous words
came in because, after all, we are after laws and actions against the
excesses of our parents, admittedly our best well-wishers on earth. You
cannot deny that their concern about you, even if irrational, is not obsessively
directed to your good. In that sense the dilemma of father-daughter feud
on marriage does hardly conform the purpose of legal actions since the
parties don't have conflicting interest or any guilty mind. Parenthood by itself
does not confer upon individuals any special legal rights whatsoever to
interfere with the personal choice of their sons or daughters, far less,
applying force in making decisions or arranging marriage against their
consent. Yes, there is law to prevent them from making or attempting to
make encrossment upon your exclusive rights. Law is blind and doesn't
know who are parents and who are not. Forget for the moment that they
are your parents you get the law. The prevailing law which are applicable
to others are equally applicable to your parents. Technically the relationship
of the parties is of no consequence in the present circumstances. There
is no nor is there any necessity of law as against the parents only so
far as the present issue is concerned. The prevailing laws are enough
to prevent anyone from interfering with the lawful rights of others irrespective
of interrelationship between the parties. Above everything one
should keep in mind law is like a bamboo-stick, though equally menacing
to all, is not kept for using against one's own family or friends for
any difference of choice or opinion with them. It has definitive purposes.
Parents may legitimately cherish dream of their own to be materialized
through their children. If it is impossible to go by their choice you
need not conceive of legal action rather it would be most advisable for
you as their child to devise things in a away so as to hurt them the least.
Your
Advocate M. Moazzam Husain is a lawyer of the Supreme Court of Bangladesh.
His professional interests include civil law, criminal law and constitutional
law. |
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