Women in double peril

THOUGH women have played a commendable role in societal and economic development, their status has hardly changed. A survey conducted by BBS and UNFPA showed that about 87% wives are subjected to torture by their husbands. The horror of domestic violence has always been with us, a persistent secret, silent, pernicious and, of course, brutal. But today it is spreading like an epidemic to more and more homes.
Not only in the cities and towns but also in the villages, terror has come stalking. And the weapon of fear is not only the gun but a can of kerosene and a match stick. Dowry deaths have become the most vicious of social crimes. Despite efforts by some activists and women's rights organisations to eliminate this vice, the number of victims has continued to rise.
It isn't surprising that a lot of women in abusive relationships tend to compromise. The tendency to go back or keep forgiving a violent man is also irrationally strong. “So what, let it be,” is a common refrain that counselors who help abused women hear. The trouble is that when a relationship is on the verge of permanent rupture, the violence also escalates. At that point, the abused woman may seek help outside her home, but frequently the man will refuse any mediation, convinced that she, not he, is at fault. In many cases, the police turn a blind eye, saying that domestic violence is really a “private affair.”
Marriage was once considered a sanctified bond,  but dowry related deaths have shattered that bond of peaceful and happy relationship. Newspaper reports say that Afia Zaman and Joya Pal were burnt alive by their husbands and in-laws, and a young housewife was put in shackles and tortured brutally for dowry. The worst factor standing in the way to women's emancipation is early marriage, and the saddest part is that as many as 64% of the girls are forced into early marriage.
Criminologists and crime assessment wing of the government assert that crime rate among deviant young husbands has gone up by as much as 40%. The sudden affluence that has emerged, both in rural areas and in the cities, over the last one decade is considered as one of the primary factors. "The increase in violence is because the consciousness of the woman has changed,” says a psychoanalyst. Women are better educated and don't take the “patibrata” concept at face value and stand up against ill-treatment.
As educated and even financially independent women begin to question male dominance, there is a sharp increase in atrocities against them, leading to more broken homes. In many cases career women complain of regular assault by their husbands. In such cases, the husbands cannot cope with the successful careers of their wives. The fact that more women are letting out that “secret” is encouraging since it needs tremendous courage. But there is uncertainty ahead. If the wife blows the whistle on an abusive husband, she risks losing her status, her standard of living and other privileges in the family. What's worse is that even after getting out of an abusive relationship, most women don't experience any relief. For many of them, it's almost like walking out of a support system.
All governments promised political and social equality for the sexes but, despite the societal improvements that have come about, incidences of sexual harassment and assault on women are still taking place. Economic compulsion, fear for their reputation, and social stigma force most women to remain silence. According to Bangladesh Women Council, 338 women fell victim to torture in November 2013. Among them 55 were rape victims and 13 were killed after rape.
Every year scores of women are falling victims to acid violence. The perpetrators are often spurned suitors who feel that if they cannot have the woman they desire, they must mangle her so badly that she has no takers. “This is a new form of violence that is spreading fast,” says a woman activist and a reputed lawyer handling cases of repression against women. Driven by vengeance and using this new weapon as a threat so that the victim's family dare not proceed with a court case, the perpetrators are now targeting the parents as well.
14 year-old Hena Akhtar, a rape victim in Shariatpur upazila, met a tragic death after being lashed in public on the edicts issued by some self-styled religious leaders in collusion with some local union parishad members in January 2011. Although a case was instituted on the orders of the High Court, most of the alleged accused have been absconding. They are now issuing threats to Hena's father to withdraw the case.
The fact is that social prejudice and double standards of the male dominated society stigmatise a woman, and she is more sinned against than she has sinned. Mental and physical abuse, humiliation, discrimination in pay and status, and barriers in taking loan and other facilities from either banks or other government agencies are still hurdles to be cleared by women.
Women face double peril. Inside barred doors it is humiliation, outside, there awaits public ire. Harassed and tortured women are going to court or police for protection. But even if appeals for protection are met, only scorn greets them when they return home.

The writer is a columnist of The Daily Star.
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