THE MUG LIFE

With great difficulty, this writer managed to get a hold of one of the most “danger” guys roaming the streets of Dhaka today. He's the All-Seeing Eye, the Taker of Phones. He knows what's in your pocket and if he wants it, he'll have it. You can't live in this hedom's territory and own an iPhone without him knowing. You can only hope for his mercy if you want to keep it. We won't disclose his name, for our safety. I met him in one of the many dark alleys under his hedom-ship, and attempted to learn more about his thrilling life.
 

Hello, sir! Thank you for joining us. How was your day?
Mr. Mugger: Well, business is booming. Took two laptops and a usable old phone today, can't be bad, right?
You've made two people one laptop poorer each. Don't you feel for them?
Mr. Mugger: Yes, I do. But I'm a professional. I don't let feelings get in the way.
Your profession -- it's not something one aspires to take up when growing up. How did you end up here?
Mr. Mugger: No one grows up dreaming to be a mugger, yes, but I've grown up around the BIG brothers of my neighbourhood -- the real hedoms. To be honest, since I started making sense of how the world works, this has been what I dreamed of. The fear in people's eyes, when you go up to them and ask where they are going, what their names are and whatnot. I'd grown up watching this and that's why I am what I am today.
 

But couldn't you be the same instrument of fear for a better cause, in a policeman's uniform?
Mr. Mugger: Hahaha. You on something, bro?
Okay… moving on, there are countless little hedoms in the streets of Dhaka today. Tell me, sir, what is it that you did to become the legend that you are?
Mr. Mugger: Hard work, endless hours put into practice. Before I went into the big leagues, I took lunch money from school kids, I used to play a game where I'd have to guess what brand of phone a person had on them when I saw them from distance. Whenever I guessed right, my trainer, who's now retired and in jail, would mug that man and give me that phone.
Wouldn't he have mugged them anyway?
Mr. Mugger: Probably yes, but you must realise how that kept my young mind motivated.
So, it IS true that you can tell which phone a person uses just by looking?
Mr. Mugger: Well, you use an old Nokia touch phone don't you?
Of course, you are right. But how do you know this? What's the secret?
Mr. Mugger: You said it. It's a secret.
Come on, give our readers a clue. What's giving them away?
Mr. Mugger: I'll tell you what gave you away then. You're holding your phone in the palm of your hand.
Oh. You're very funny. So, you won't tell. Fair enough. Before we finish, please give our readers some advice, on how to avoid getting mugged.
Mr. Mugger: Well, the day and age has become such that everyone's better off staying home, if they do come out, it's best to leave the expensive stuff home. If you can't, don't flaunt them. Try not to hide it either, that'll give us the impression you might be a lucky catch. And if a mugger does accost you, don't fight him. Most hedoms don't keep weapons, but each one of them knows another that does. If you do manage to get away, there's a good chance they'll find you again. It's just a phone, let it go.
Thank you, sir, for your advice and your valuable time. I am truly grateful that you agreed to do this.
Mr. Mugger: You don't need to be. I'm taking your wallet.
What? But why?
Mr. Mugger: Because your phone is cheap. I wasn't doing this for free. Remember, it's all about professionalism.
But sir, please! SHOUT just gave me this month's bill. [Breaks into tears]
Mr. Mugger: Ask them to give you less dangerous assignments next time. Adios, muchacho!
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.