THE BIG FAT BENGALI BIBAHO

Every winter brings with it the fog, the experience of wearing warm clothes, sipping hot coffee and movie nights with cousins and friends under the blankets. What it also brings are the beautifully decorated and scented wedding invitation cards from our relatives or parents' colleagues and so many unheard-of relations. No wonder it is also dubbed as the “wedding season”. Suits for men, shawls for women and colorful pullovers for the young ones – it is a time for
festivity, family and feast.
Even though we might say every wedding is unique on its own, there are some occurrences that speak the true language of the occasion. These sights can only be seen at weddings and have no reason as to why they haven't changed over the many years and generations that have come and gone – they have become a tradition. Let's go on a journey to discover these bundles of joy (not all of them) that are characteristic of the biyer dawaat.

 The 'gate dhora' and 'juta churi' – At every wedding event when the groom is about to enter the venue, the siblings and cousins of the bride gather to block the gate until they receive a good amount of money from the dulabhai. Although many elders think of it as a hassle (or a reminder of the time they had to cough up a large sum of cash), people enjoy the scene. When everything is settled, they hide the groom's shoe and ask for more money. The Bengali way of blackmailing is such a wonder.

* Baccha-kaccha and annoying aunties – No doubt it is a time when many family members meet after a long time and a little fun goes a long way. Groups of children will be seen running around tables without a clue and hoards of elderly people will be talking about their daily lives. There will also be young girls giggling away as boys follow them with eager eyes. And when you are introduced to someone who has not seen you recently, they will go, “Oh maa, koto boro hoye gecho!” and the sort. Auntie please, so have you.

* The khawa'r porbo – This is perhaps the only memorable part of the wedding. With random strangers glaring like Clint Eastwood from across the table and the constant buzzing of “Side, please. Side, please,” there are so many things to worry about. Which glass is mine – one on the left or the right? Are they serving kacchi or plain polao? Why on earth do cameramen shoot me right when I bite on the sumptuous bone? Where is that fresh dish of rezaala? Is the aloo gone? I just started on my meal; you could've served the jorda a little later! And on and on and on.

* Paan intended – After filling the stomach with oil-rich delicacies preferably in the 'first batch', most parents will nag to get over with the photo session with the lucky couple and head straight to home. But not without spending enough time to sort out their paan on the gateway. Some will stay over till the bride and groom start their feasting on a goat-like structure made of chicken. Now that is something.
These days we opt to spend most of our time in front of computers or with friends. However, there is no better way than to catch up with the family and enjoy a hearty meal than at a wedding. A class of its own and evergreen, the big fat Bengali bibahos are a treat to the eyes, and the tummy.