You would think one might run out of ideas for “types of people” article but as soon as you let that thought cross your mind, another article pops up like Hydra's head. This one's for the folks who frequent bookstores more often than most people or the ones who simply enjoy people-watching.
These people aimlessly stroll down the aisles and scan the shelves, occasionally picking out a book that piques their interest. Although these people can and do appreciate books from time to time, they are often unaware of the bookstore etiquette. You'll notice them doing something as blasphemous as stacking all the books they took out horizontally on top of the other books or worse, putting them in the shelf with the spine facing backwards. But the most atrocious thing of all that these casual wanderers do is that they take books out of one shelf and put them back in a completely different shelf that features a completely different genre. Seems like a benign act, doesn't it? Not so much. Would you want your 10-year old sibling to find Fifty Shades of Grey in the children's section? I didn't think so.
CLUELESS GIFT BUYER
You will almost always come across a person who barges into the store, hastily moving from one book shelf to another, while taking a glance at the watch every five seconds or so, picking a book with a fancy looking cover and heading to the cash counter. Or they will make a bunch of phone calls, asking their other friends what this particular friend likes, all the while pestering the salespeople with vaguest descriptions of books or authors. They might say something in the lines of “I saw my friend reading a series with a red cover and the title either started with T or H, I'm not sure. Can you help me find this book?”
Yeah... Because the salesperson knows every single book with a red cover by author T or H.
What does a bookworm do when social media fails to cater to their social life? Head out to the closest bookstore, of course. This person will lean against a bookshelf, holding their favourite book in hand and wait for the ideal friend or potential significant other to walk down the aisle. This person will observe you through their peripherals, and even try to recommend books if you seem indecisive.
THE LOST SOUL
Creased eyebrows, scratching heads - these are the lost souls. They have absolutely no idea how or why they ended up in a bookstore. They wander about, tap away on their phones, and finally leave as silently and mysteriously as they came.
THE UNFORTUNATE COMPANION
This is the non-reader friend or parent you take along with you in a bookshop. They will complain about the price of the books and rack their brains out (and yours too) in trying to find out why you would rather go for hardcover. They will not understand your hype for the newest edition of a book that you already own. They may ask questions like, “What's the name of the man who wrote Harry Potter again?” as you stifle a cry and hope that no Potterhead heard them. They will try to relate to you by constantly mentioning that one Dan Brown book they read in high school and don't even remember the name of.
You'll recognise them as soon as they enter the store. The gleam in their eyes and excitement in their stride are enough to give them away. These are the ultimate bookworms. They will squeal at the latest collections and sit right on the floor, pouring over multiple books at the same time. If you catch them sniffing or slightly drooling over books, don't be alarmed. They are only admiring their one true love.
Farah Masud is a humanbean and that is all you need to know about her. Please don't try to contact her anywhere, especially not in person.