This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

That thing you did that's been keeping you up all night? Definitely your fault.



TAURUS

Fuchka is a no-no.



GEMINI

You must embrace a brand new chapter in your life. But you don't read chapter books, do you?



CANCER

You can live your whole life without love. The stars say you should start getting used to that.



LEO

Water is not your friend.



VIRGO

Don't drop that thun-thun-thun.



LIBRA

Everyone is lying to you. Don't believe them.



SCORPIO

Pay your rickshaw driver an extra 5 taka. It will come back.



SAGITTARIUS

Make sure you don't let your phone's battery go below 87%.



CAPRICORN

Someone will give you 5 taka. Treat yourself.



AQUARIUS

Maroon is not a good look.



PISCES

Researchers recommend you stop looking at screens. Now, what would that accomplish?