This week's horrorscope

ARIES

Rachel is a good name for a pet cloud.



TAURUS

Action speaks louder than the YouTuber KSI.



GEMINI

Being a Gemini doesn't make you a snake.



CANCER

Blue is not the best colour for this season.



LEO

Igloos are nice; both the ice-tents and the ice-cream.



VIRGO

Two cows once fell in love on a moonlit night.



LIBRA

Some types of fries are not crunchy enough.



SCORPIO

End your story with another short story.



SAGITTARIUS

Asparagus is not nice to look at.



CAPRICORN

Salmons are not good-looking.



AQUARIUS

Or is this fantasy you ask?



PISCES

Nigel Uno was my first role model.