THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE

ARIES
You will bump into your ex. They are doing a lot better than you are.

TAURUS
You will bump into your ex. To your shame, you will smile at them.

GEMINI
You will bump into your ex. They are dating your mathematics teacher.

CENCER
You will bump into your ex. The police are asking them questions re: the dead pig in their bedroom. 

LEO
You will bump into your ex. They have a new job. It sounded a lot like palmistry.

VIRGO
You will bump into your ex. They are leading an army of devils to ravage the earth, as you'd suspected all along.

LIBRA
You will bump into your ex. You agree to give it another try.

SCORPIO
You will bump into your ex. You won't recognize them.

SAGITTARIUS
You will bump into your ex. You will regret exaggerating your post break-up accomplishments.

CAPRICON
You will bump into your ex. The two of you will make out and feel ashamed.

AQUARIUS
You will bump into your ex. You wish you could get back together.

PISCES
Nothing of note will happen to you.