THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
You will wonder if the glass if half empty or full at length.
You will end up hopelessly stuck with your fingers tangled.
Your mother coddles you in your dreams and in real life.
Ask for help. You need it. Alone, you're useless. It's true.
Inspiring! Wow! Really makes you think! Idonbilivit!
The time you failed a test in Class 1 will return to haunt you.
Ghosts of the past stole a Delorean and are out to get you!
Cigarette smoke affects your future vision and present sight.
Let go of your pride, admit to being short and sit on a dictionary.
Establish you're superior to circus animals by doing their tricks better.
"Oh yeah. That's right. Uh huh. So true." You'll say that.
So you want horoscopes to be accurate, nice and truthful? Whaaaa-