Satireday
Athletes stop learning new skills at age 28
Shattering conventional wisdom, a Bangladeshi sports scientist claimed that his new research proves that athletes stop learning as soon as they turn 28.
Low salary and poor increment actually beneficial to employees: study
Money apparently is not the root of all evil. Neither is it the ticket to happiness. In fact, money ceases to matter at all now that watermelon in Dhaka costs more than the monthly food cost of a family of chickens.
‘My husband isn’t husbanding right’
I had an arranged marriage. My parents picked out the best suitor for me and I trusted them.
Man escapes Dhaka after attending fire safety workshop
An employee of a paper company in the capital’s Farmgate has been absent without official leave ever since he attended a fire safety workshop at work.
Employer refuses to give workers raises because they will get mugged if they have money
A car company has stunned industry insiders with a revolutionary new approach that improves workers’ quality of life and reduces the pressure on company coffers all at once. By refusing to give employees their scheduled raises and keeping them dangerously close to the edge of poverty, Stellar Motors -- Dhaka’s largest automobile importer -- is confident it can reduce the risk of employees being robbed in the streets and losing the little wealth they might still possess.
When Readers Write / Families with less than 3 members to merge
The government has recently announced its plan to address the problem of small families.
Organisations tackle inflation squeeze by introducing ‘Pay-To-Work’ policy
February has passed but employees at several major business firms have still not received any yearly increment or contract renewal. Employees are having difficulty making ends meet, what with rice and essentials doubling in price. Transport costs have gone up even though diesel price has been reduced by Tk 0.75.
Seeking affordable dates, Bangladeshi opens Tinder account
A man from Basabo has opened a Tinder account after he learned from one of his friends that dates on Tinder and Bumble were more attainable than in the current market.
Chintito since 1995 / Truth shall prevail
And so now the Pope is wrong because he is calling for peace and trying to save lives. He advised Ukraine to show the “white flag”, which other than meaning surrender is also a symbol of peace.
Twisted thoughts, warped words, and despicable deeds
You have all been invited for “daal-bhaat to a gorib’s house” by (surprise, surprise) a well-to-do host. Obviously, he is far from being poor. Or else, he would not have invited you.
Satire / Bangkok temporarily turns into Dhaka as concertgoers flock to Coldplay
It seemed harmless at first. One could see one or two stories on social media, featuring people by the beach, enjoying the blue waters of Phuket or Krabi.
Getting out to avoid cheating; Australia to Bangladesh’s rescue
The following is a roundup of World Cup news, real and imagined. More imagined than real. Actually, it’s all imagined.
Four friends travelling from Khulna perish from starvation in Dhaka traffic gridlock
Last Wednesday Mishap Talukder of Khulna set out on a road trip to the capital with his three best friends. They were celebrating their recent financial gains from a startup pyramid scheme called RiverValley. Their startup gained rave reviews where people spent money to buy little pyramids all across Bangladesh, Mongolia and the moon and name each pointy structure after their beloved.
He’s stealing my moves, cricket chief says after captain’s controversial interview
A recent TV interview by a current captain of a certain international cricket team has taken a drama-addicted fanbase by storm, and the chief of that particular country’s cricket board is insecure because he suspects the interview was a clear sign of the captain’s plan to take over his job.
Man cuts down on junk food only to be shunned by society
Society has once again done what it was created to do: shun the minority. Young Facebook reels entrepreneur Rayhan Haythere is upset because society has recently been upset with him.
Scientist invents instant transmission to alleviate VIP movement-related frustration
Dr Impossibru Patwary, a physicist working at the Chetona Innovation Labs at Palashi University, claims to have invented a device that can help individuals transmit their bodies instantly across short to medium distances.
Bangladeshi toddler named in Shorbes 3 under 3
Azlazin Zafriath, a two-year-old from Dhaka, has been named in the prestigious Shorbes 3 under 3 2023 list.
Additional brutality commissioner reprimanded for beating the wrong kind of people
The six-time-heavy-baton champion Additional Brutality Commissioner (ABC) Marum-Ek-Ghushi struck again (quite literally) and this time the blow unfortunately fell upon Chapasthan Young Men (CYM) members. The consequences were dire.
New iPhone comes with more features, but nothing that makes you actually attractive
The radical iPhone 15 launched a week ago with features that boggled the mind of smartphone users a decade ago. Apple adopted the USB-C charger that was first seen in 2014 when China’s Le smartphone launched it. No one remembers because the powerpoint presentations were not as polished back then.
Deshi Christopher Nolan ready with local Oppenheimer to fight against imported Jawan
Whoever thought the battle between Oppenheimer and Barbie was over, is actually living in a fool’s paradise.
Husband keeps making excuses to get on expressway, wife fed up
A wife in the capital has become exasperated following the opening of the elevated expressway as her husband refuses to take any other road, even though the expressway doesn’t yet serve the areas where they live or work.
