THE PEOPLE’S CORNER: A shovel, a lamb, and a yacht

"Stick out your tongue please," said the agent behind the desk. "Now, gently place it on the scanner to connect with the national database using your taste buds, and confirm your identity.

"Afterwards, you may proceed with your wishes."

"Ow-eh," I replied, or at least tried to, with my tongue still touching the cold surface of the scanner.

"Strange," said the agent looking at his computer. "According to our B-Supercomputer, you've already used up your three wishes"

"Whaa," I screamed, retracting my tongue back inside my mouth. "I just got here a while back. How is it possible that I have already used up my wishes?"

The confused agent then turned to me, and said, "You're Mr Dugdugi, aren't you?"

"No, I am most certainly not. My name is Dumbledore."

"I see. It seems that you've made a blunder."

"I made a blunder?" I screamed out. "Your useless supercomputer can't give you the correct information. What's my fault here?"

"You should've brushed your tongue before coming in," said the agent in a calm voice as he took a bite out of his sandwich, which he was using as the mouse pad a minute ago. "Your tongue has to be clean, sir. But don't worry. We can fix this."

"Do you want me to brush my teeth now?"

"No. But from today onwards, you're officially Mr Dugdugi. Congratul…"

"ARE YOU INSANE?"

"I am only being rational sir. Now, please stop wasting our time and make your wishes."

Seeing how pointless it was to argue with him, I decided to tolerate the nonsense a little longer and proceeded to tell him about my wishes.

"So, my three wishes are…"

"A shovel, a lamb, and of course, a yacht. Right?"

"No, it's none of them. I want a hammer, a hen and some rice."

The agent then laughed for a good two minutes before turning back to me, and said, "You're quite delusional. What good is a hammer, a hen, and some rice going to do to you?"

"But, I want a hammer, a hen, and some rice. Of all things, why would I go for the yacht?"

At this point, the agent seemed to be getting annoyed. I also noticed another agent to our right staring directly at me with his eyebrows raised. The environment inside the room had suddenly turned hostile.

"Look, here's the thing," said the agent. "You seem like a smart and respectable man. Smart and respectable men don't want hammers, hens or rice. They want shovels, lambs, and yachts. You sir, want the same things. We know you do."

"Okay," I murmured. "Where do I enter my wishes?"

"Oh, they've already been entered," replied the agent. "Our B-Supercomputer knows what you want. It does everything for you. You can leave now."

"So, all this was pointless?" I asked incredulously.

"All formalities, sir."

As I made my way out of the wishing centre, I noticed the queue of people waiting outside to make their wishes. They reminded of the NPCs you'd see in a video game. They don't do anything or play any role in the story. But you need to make the game look realistic.

A shovel, a lamb, and a yacht.