ONCE UPON AN ALLEYWAY BANGKOK

Over a chilled out conversation with a girlfriend recently, I was reminded once again, how 'weird timings' played a satirical, backseat role in my life. If my brother did not get married at the time he did, my life would have been another story altogether! Quite a statement, I agree, but let me back it up!

See my brother's relationship leading up to his wedding – all happened in fast-forward. Early 2010, he informed me he was in a relationship with a special someone while my husband and I sure-footedly proceeded towards planning our much-awaited sabbatical. Both of us had reached a point in our lives where we had been working non-stop for years and had not enjoyed a proper break or a pause to reflect, and decided on a long 3-4 month hiatus that would give us the energy for a fresh start.
We were busy hatching a plan for January 2011 and like a pair of expecting parents of a firstborn, all our conversations, annoyingly for others, slowly started to revolve around it. Everyone was to put their lives on hold -- cancel birthday parties, postpone weddings, delay the birth of their children -- the works! All that was about to change as the Joker's face in the backseat was beginning to crease into a smirk.
September 15th was the last date for us to pay for all our flight bookings and on the 10th my brother announced the unthinkable! While our plans were underway, so was his relationship, and the hatching had happened on both ends with his soon to turn into a wedding. And what month you ask – of course January 2011.

Our world came crashing down on us and my initial reaction was to pull a no-show at my brother's wedding – how dare he fall in love so quick and to make matters worse, decide to get married quicker and now was ready to disrupt my perfect plans! It was all I could do to control the ticking bomb inside me that was ready to explode any moment. But of course, the volatile person that I am, I forgot all about my resentment in the next instance – after all I may be planning our trip for months but had been planning his wedding ever since I was a child! Thus, the 3-4 month long sabbatical was cancelled and replaced exactly a year later by one that changed my life forever.
It was during the start of this, more long-term sabbatical that I happened to encounter Thailand in the most random fashion possible. My olfactory perception can vaguely trace back the sights, sounds and particularly smell of the events that took place after dark and an extremely dazed, disoriented account of the daytime activities. I realise I have managed to paint quite a dodgy picture of our trip, especially where the reputation of Bangkok is concerned, forget reputation – the name itself is asking for trouble, but let me assure you nothing untoward had fortunately taken place.
Sukumvit 11 welcomed us into this never-ending labyrinth of an alleyway that never ceased to surprise! It started with the local favourites from the roadside pushcarts serving pan-fried, seasoned insects such as ants, grasshoppers and cockroaches to more universally acceptable delicacies such as the somtum, pad noodles and tom yum. A trip to Bangkok is also not worth it without tasting the sinfully amazing green, unripened mango salad, which should come with a red-hot warning.

I could go on and on about Sukumvit 11 and Khao San Road and the delicacies they offer both in terms of food and activities, but I shall not provide any more spoilers and let these streets unfold themselves when you visit, and unfold they will, by the time you reach the end of their spiraling alleys.
Something else, not quite as widely discussed, is the lack of English spoken, even smack-bang in the middle of the most touristic Bangkok! Contrary to what one would expect, hardly anyone speaks any English and even more worrisome – hardly anyone understood any! On our way from Pattaya (which by the way I strongly recommend for all sorts of adrenaline pumping sports at the cheapest possible price) we were horded on a bus, half-asleep and knackered, amongst other things, on our way back to Bangkok.
After what seemed like hours, we were woken up by a sudden change in the noise level outside and upon looking out the window, I realised we had arrived. Just to be certain, I walked up to the bus driver to enquire if we were near the Paragon shopping mall (where we were to be reunited with my brother and his wife) to which, he stepped on the brakes, causing a jolt, which almost threw me off my feet, to start wildly pointing at a big shopping mall across the street, shouting all the time 'get down, shopping mall! Get down'.
I could not confirm the name of the shopping mall from where we were parked but the driver's wild enthusiasm and urgency convinced me. We grabbed our bags and got down indeed!
It took us a five-minutes' walk to the shopping centre and back to realise it was a shopping mall alright, just the wrong one! But that was the least of our concerns when after consulting several people off the street, half of whom responded with a curt 'no English!', we arrived at the conclusion that we were not even in Bangkok yet! Thus, began an epic journey back to Bangkok, involving three modes of transportation – a motorbike, a bus and a cab.
We eventually did make it back to Bangkok and were reunited with my family, after much ado, but what followed left me drained and distressed! Shortly after we arrived, we stepped out for a real stress-buster: a Thai massage! After inspecting quite a few frightful massage parlours, we walked to the more decent part of town to find one that quite ticked all the boxes. To our surprise, the women even seemed to understand and speak proper English.
The next morning, we sampled some of the best grilled skewers of meat, spiced mussels and Thai styled omelette and then took our tastebuds to indulge in an amazing buffet under a shed, sharing with local cab-drivers and policemen, some amazing local delicacies! And in case, I tire you with food descriptions and do not get to build a case to mention it again, I tasted one of the best chicken shwarmas of my life in Bangkok as well! Strange but true. And once we were fed until our stomachs could not contain anymore, we jumped into a cab, to leave the city behind to explore the elephant park, floating markets and most importantly, Ayutthaya.