12:00 AM, August 30, 2018 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, August 30, 2018

This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

There is someone from Australia who is thinking about you.



TAURUS

Have you seen your toe-nails?



GEMINI

Its never a matter of self-respect, always a matter of self-love.



CANCER

No, you can't go swimming today.



LEO

A shark will make sure you have your life in order.



VIRGO

Succulent and tender treats await you.



LIBRA

Don't ask your parents about last night.



SCORPIO

Is it just me or is it just fantasy?



SAGITTARIUS

Eggs and bacon is not a real breakfast meal.



CAPRICORN

Oily skin is not a disease.



AQUARIUS

Use your last name for your next clothing line.



PISCES

Tea is not for everyone to spill.