Thomas Bentley of New Jersey is suing his former law school, St. Thomas University Law School of Miami, for having admitted him to law school (he was later one of 40 students expelled for insufficient grades). The Florida law school's attrition rate is in keeping with the national average.
Presumably, Bentley initially asked the university to admit him but that didn't stop his lawyer Michael Lombardi from saying, with a straight face:
"They're not supposed to accept students who don't have a reasonable prospect of completing law school."
Subpoena George Bush
On November 30, 2004, Gail Davidson swore private information in Vancouver, British Columbia accusing George W. Bush, President of the United States of America, of torture. She then sought to have the President arrested and brought to British Columbia to answer her complaint. But when the Court pressed the issue, she admitted that she was "not asking ... for process to issue". The Court realized that she was trying to use the justice system for "political" purposes.
"Pursuant to its inherent jurisdiction, wrote Justice Satanove in Davidson v Attorney General in 2005 BCSC 1765, "this court may stay or dismiss a proceeding where the process of the court is employed for some ulterior or improper purpose or in an improper way. I am dismissing the applicant's Petition as an abuse of process."
Me v Me
An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own civil rights by getting arrested) -- then asked the state to pay because he has no income in jail.
He said, "I want to pay myself $5 million dollars, but ask the state to pay it on my behalf since I can't work and am a ward of the state." The judge was not impressed by his ingenuity, and dismissed the suit as frivolous. (Source: CALA)
But You're More Stupider
A convicted bank robber on parole robbed a California Savings and Loan Branch. The bank robber placed the money roll containing the hidden Security Pac in his front pants pocket. The Security Pac released tear gas and red dye resulting in second and third degree burns requiring treatment at a hospital.
The bank robber sued the bank, the Security Pac manufacturer, the city the police and the hospital. (Source: ATRA: Candelario v. City of Oakland, No. 628960-3 Cal. App. Dep't Super. Ct. 1987)