<i>Coffee Without</i> Current

IS it that a whole lot of people didn't pay their electric bills all at the same time? Or, is this a thought provoking tribute to the millions who live without electricity and in the dark anyway? Is somebody using the microwave oven and the hair dryer at the same time? Surely, nothing to do with the tax deadline (which eventually gets pushed back anyway)? Is it 'Trick or Treat' -- a hangover from Halloween? A blown transformer (then blame it on Optimus Prime). Or is it an episode from the reality show, A Day in Baghdad? Maybe Ananta Jalil is charging his mobile phone.

Oh wait, Zimbabwe is here. Maybe it's a great strategy for Bangladesh to win against Zimbabwe (which initially starts as the world's first Test Twenty20). Nah. For Zimbabwe that's more like home ground advantage. At least there is no Bangladesh-Zimbabwe match going on, otherwise, it would have taken an extra twelve hours to watch our favourite team lose…

What we do hear is a nationwide, collective “damn!” (at home) and “woo hoo!” (at work).

The bar for the worst power outage has now been set very high.

It is a marathon concert -- unplugged. And all you see of the ardent fans are their eyes in the darkness. Mundane lunches everywhere go undocumented on Facebook. How many trapped on the escalator? Ha, ha! Got you there!!

The country is dark and it is no metaphor. How will the file pushers now not work? We finally empathise with the Opposition (I mean the former Opposition) at being without power as it blames the power failure on failure in power.

160 million people without electricity. The US would burn down if it lost Wi-Fi for thirty minutes. Remember the looting during the New York blackout? As for us, we may not have power, figuratively and electrically, but we are the Powerless Rangers. We are used to power outages even when the cows belch. Load shedding finally makes its case -- years of acclimatisation from regular load shedding keeps us in business as usual, at least for quite some time till the generators start dying.

We don't think of it as a power outage, we think of it as turning Amish, or being grounded by God. Hey, it could have been worse, there could be Zombies -- a perfect scene from Michael Jackson's Thriller.

So what exactly happened? Well, two power stations 'tripped' almost back to back, resulting in a systemic failure. No, not a power surge, which to the layman (not the lineman) is the equivalent of a power grid getting a hot flash. I refrain from making any technical comments. That's like going to Mike Tyson for anger-management counseling…

Finally, it is not the blackout, but the power coming on, which is the biggest surprise, and a pleasant one. After all, current is in the hand of the beholder. The consumers reconfirm their beliefs that Thomas Edison is the greatest inventor ever invented, while through rain and sun, hail and wind, our linemen and engineers toil to get the lights on. Maybe we should thank them now. Step aside coffee, this is a job for plain old rice.

But it is a wake-up call (somebody has been napping alright…). Once we shed light (powered by electricity) on the root cause, we hope that we progress towards better planning. Otherwise, we will never have to worry about another power failure if we harness the power of our own bad planning.

Meantime, be prepared in case there is another nationwide power outage -- store dry food, water, batteries and most importantly, paper based Zee Bangla drama serials.

The writer is an engineer & CEO turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. E-mail: [email protected]