'Grotesque pantomime'

For six terrible months, Adam Steenkamp has been forced to watch, wait and pray as the trial of the man who killed his sister ground to its agonising conclusion.

Yet the verdict that Oscar Pistorius was guilty of culpable homicide -- the equivalent of manslaughter -- has brought no relief to his distress.

Today, in exclusive interview with The Mail on Sunday, Adam says his whole family has been left heartbroken and betrayed by the South African court.

He brands Pistorius an outright killer who should have been found guilty of deliberate murder after blasting gunshots through the door of the toilet where his girlfriend Reeva was cowering.

And he condemns the athlete's courtroom histrionics as a 'grotesque pantomime'.

"In my heart I know he has got away with it. He has got away with murder," says Adam, who is now based in Britain with his wife and children.

"I don't understand the logic of acquitting someone of murder who fires four rounds into a very small toilet cubicle. It is not the action of someone not intending to kill."

The life of his sister had been taken, he said, and Pistorius was responsible.

Speaking from his home in Suffolk, Adam, a 39-year-old IT consultant, said he was struggling to contain his emotions in the face of such trauma.

"All I want to do is to go out there and scream and shout at the world. You want to fight against something to make things right. But your head says that is not the way to go about it, that is not going to change anything. That would be reciprocating, fuelling a circle of terrible violence. It wouldn't make things any better."

He described talking to his father about Pistorius, and said how it was strange that they were not angry or full of hate. "You try not to be too angry because that seems the wrong thing to do," he said. "We are looking for the positives and what can come out of this and make things better instead of worse.

"This case in a very strange way has opened a window into people's lives in South Africa, the way they feel they need to defend themselves with extreme force. People need to think about this."

He said if he could see or speak to Pistorius, he would ask: "What happened? How on earth could you have such a failing, and a capacity to do something like this?

"There can only be two reasons: absolute intent or a bad mistake. It is very hard to speak your mind when there is a judge up there -- and the judge is there for a reason.

"I wouldn't argue that the law hasn't been applied but maybe the law is out of touch with reality, especially in that country."

Adam said he was sure that Pistorius was a broken man. He felt that he had come across as a terrible witness, caring more about his own circumstances and self-preservation.

"The world was watching," he said. "We were not fooled. The man was scared and that is understandable. I am sure what was on his mind was that he was going away for the most useful years of his life."

But he said it was almost impossible to stomach the 'grotesque pantomime' of Pistorius's actions in court. "When I saw him vomiting and crying I just thought, "Man up. Man up."

"Our tears are a lot more real, they are heavier. Crying about his lot wasn't going to change anything. He is a man and it was time for him to stand up and take it on the chin. It was disappointing to see him not do that. It looked like he was acting."