Fun stuff from Penguin India II

Mish-Mash
(Original: Khichuri)
A duck and a porcupine, no one knows how,
(contrary to grammar) are a duckupine now.
WORDYGURDYBOOM!
(Original: Shobdo-kolpo-droom!)
Whack-thwack boom-bam, oh what a rackers
Flowers blooming? I see! I thought they were crackers!
Whoosh-swoosh ping-pong my ears clench with fear
You mean that's a pretty smell getting out of here?
Hurry-scurry clunk-thunk--what's that dreadful sound?
Can't you see dew falling, mustn't move around!
Hush-shush listen! Slip-slop-sper-lash!
Oh no the moon's sunk--glub-glub-glub-ash!
Rustle-bustle slip-slide the night just passed me by
Smash-crash my dreams shattered, who can tell me why?
Rumble-grumble buzz-buzz, I'm in such a tizzy!
My mind's dancing round and round, making me so dizzy!
Cling-clang ding-dong my aches ring like bells--
Ow-ow pop-pop my heart bursts and swells!
Helter-skelter bang-bang, 'help! help!' they screech--
Picking up a fight, they say? Quick! Run out of reach!
PUMPKIN-GRUMPKIN
(Original: Kumro-potash)
(If) Pumpkin-Grumpkin dances--
Don't for heaven's sake go where the stable horse prances;
Don't look left, don't look right, don't take no silly chances.
Instead cling with all four legs to the holler-radish branches.
(If) Pumpkin-Grumpkin cries--
Beware! Beware! Don't sit on rooftops high up in the skies;
Crouch down low on a machan bundled to the eyes,
Sing 'Radhe Krishno Radhe' till your lusty throat dries.
(If) Pumpkin-Grumpkin laughs--
Stand next to the kitchen poised on straight and skinny calves;
Speak Persian in a misty voice and breathe through silken scarves;
Sleep on the grass, skip all three meals, no doing things by halves!
(If) Pumpkin-Grumpkin runs--
Make sure you scramble up the windows all at once;
Mix rouge with hookah water and on your face smear tons;
And don't dare look up at the sky thinking you're great guns!
(If) Pumpkin-Grumpkin calls--
Clap legal hats on to your heads, float in basins down the halls;
Pound spinach into healing paste and smear your forehead walls;
And with a red-hot pumice-stone rub your nose until it crawls.
Those of you who find this foolish and dare to laugh it off,
When Pumpkin-Grumpkin gets to know you won't want to scoff.
Then you'll see which words of mine are full of truth and how,
Don't come running to me then, I'm telling you right now.
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