Write to Mita
Dear Mita,
I am a 15-year-old girl studying in class ten. I had a male friend, a very funny, caring and friendly person. We were very good friends since class 7. When we were in class 9, he started liking one of my close friends and even asked her out on a date. However, she rejected him. On the other hand, another close friend of mine had a crush on him. This led to a lot of confusion and misunderstandings between the three, and they stopped talking to each other. The boy spoke to me and told me that I should not take sides and continue to be friends with the girls. I tried to reconcile them, and now the two girls behave as if nothing ever came between them (even though, I know that they can't stand each other). In the meanwhile, I noticed that the boy had stopped speaking to me. Eight months have passed and nothing has been sorted between us. I realise now that I should have tried to talk to him earlier and fix any problem. At this point, I think that he doesn't really want to renew our friendship. I don't even know how the girls will react to my decision to rekindle my friendship with him. I don't want them to fight over this again. What if all three of them react negatively to my decision? I just want everything to be like it was a year ago. Please help.
Confused
Dear Confused,
Don't get too upset about these things. Handling relationships is part of growing up. As you grow older you will realize that it is not possible to neither make everyone happy nor continue relationship with everyone. It is in the nature of things that friends fall apart, new people enter your life and so it goes on till you reach a level of maturity where you decide on long term relationships. This could be with your old friends, people you meet accidentally or with that special person that you will surely meet someday. To answer your question, it is also not always possible to make things as they were in the past. You may try to patch up things between your friends but be prepared for negative reactions or even a fall out. Try talking to your male friend and get to the bottom of why he is not speaking to you. However, as I said don't lose too much sweat over this.
Dear Mita,
I am an elderly person and have changed my job after almost an era. But I soon realised that my new job is too demanding, and people of my age would generally find it very difficult to sustain in this kind of a job. However, I am determined to keep this job in order to provide for my family – my wife and child who is enrolled in a nursery school. My previous job has landed me in a mess that I am finding difficult to get out of. I need enough money to ensure my child's education in a good school but can't do so with a job in hand. How do I cope with this stressful situation?
Optimistic
Dear Optimistic,
Please don't get too stressed I am sure you will be able to handle the situation since you are an “optimist”. I hope you do know that there is no perfect job in the world. Every job comes with its own challenges, pitfalls and disappointments. One makes a decision whether to stay or leave based on certain calculations. These are of course salary, benefits, job satisfaction etc. If you need the job badly then my advice is to stay, give it your best but also keep your eyes open for better opportunities. I would also say that your wife can also assist you in sharing some of the financial burden.
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