STOP THE ABUSE
Afrin Khan (not her real name) has always been a very bright student. The only daughter in a family of three sons, Afrin has had to put up a fight, as she tried to convince her parents to send her to Dhaka to pursue her further education. After many arguments they finally allowed Afrin to travel all the way to Dhaka to study in one of the most reputed public universities in the country.
Afrin was prepared for all the dangers that she thought she would have to face as a woman living alone in Dhaka. She was prepared for problems with her prospective roommate, incessant session jams, immense work load, and even catcalling and street harassment. The one thing that she wasn't prepared for was sexual harassment by her own peers and teachers.
“When I walked into the class on my first day at the university, I heard someone whistle loudly. As I walked to my seat, someone commented on my dress, while someone else sang a vulgar Hindi song at the top of his voice. I could understand that all of this was meant for me, the new addition to the class and I felt my legs shaking in embarrassment and fear,” says Afrin.
To her surprise, when Afrin went to her dean's office to lodge a complaint against those who had harassed her, he told her that this was a common occurrence and that she should get used to this kind of behaviour if she intended to study in Dhaka. “He told me that I should not be offended by the “harmless teasing” of my classmates and instead take it as a compliment! How do you expect others to reform when your teacher can't tell the difference between harassment and compliments?” she asks indignantly.
According to a 2003 report by the Centre for Policy Dialogue and UN Population fund, a clear link can be seen “between the increased sexual harassment of Bangladeshi women and their improved economic status, increased mobility and newfound visibility away from the home.” Thus, while we can rejoice the fact that with time more and more women are stepping out of the boundaries of their homes to fulfil their economic and financial needs, we can't ignore the fact that this freedom comes with a price.
“Many students fear that their grades will be affected if they complain about sexual harassment by a teacher,” says Lina Goswami. “Girls in our society are conditioned to think that she should turn a blind eye to unwanted advances. It's instilled in her that she should keep her mouth shut if she's worried about her family's reputation.”
In other words, a girl in our society is taught that unless and until a man forces himself on her, she should not cry 'abuse' or complain about harassment. If you have the nerves to get out in the world on your own, you should have the nerves to silently accept such 'mild' nuisance that hinders your mobility and risks your life, dictates the society.
Things, fortunately, are changing, says Goswami. “Students of Jahangirnagar University carried out a hugely popular movement against sexual harassment in educational institutes. They urged the administration to implement effective measures to bring offenders to book. Soon the students of Dhaka University followed suit, as they protested for a safer environment for the women students of the university,” she adds.
With increased awareness, students and working women are also raising their voice against violence and sexual harassment, Goswami says. “With rapidly growing industrialisation, more and more women now work for a living. Parents too acknowledge that their daughters need to be well-educated if they are to survive in the outside world. Because of female rights movements and active steps taken by students themselves, women now feel less scared to report sexual harassment to concerned authorities. Thus, cases of sexual violence and abuse is getting more and more visibility and that is definitely a positive sign,” she adds.
In 2009, a division bench of the High Court delivered a landmark judgement by issuing certain guidelines that had to be strictly followed by education institutions and employers, following a litigation filed by the Bangladesh National Women Lawyers Association (BNWLA). After the delivery of this judgement, complaint committees were formed in 31 private universities and 22 public universities. Victims of any kind of sexual harassment could lodge their complaints with these committees. However, most schools and colleges have failed to form such committees despite the court directive, says Advocate Salma Ali, Executive Director of BNWLA.
She adds that it's going to be an uphill task to ensure the safety of students and working women if proper implementation of the guidelines is not accounted for. “The government needs to constitute a national monitoring and overseeing committee with representation from the judiciary, media, academia, corporate sectors, NGO and other stakeholders,” she says.
Amna Rafique (not her real name), an employee of a private firm, thinks that she should have heeded the advice of her parents, and gotten married right after graduation. “My ex-boss would make snide comments about my body and my looks. There were times when I looked up from my work to see him staring at me openly. He even went as far as to assure me that I could be guaranteed a promotion if I were able to satisfy him.” Amna quit her job but says that the incident has left a mark on her mind. “I feel like if I were married then people would at least maintain their distance with me. It's a sad fact that in our society telling someone that you have a husband is the easiest way to get them to leave you alone because they respect another man more than they respect you.”
Interestingly, the company Amna worked for apparently had a sexual harassment policy, and employees were informed that such behaviour would not be tolerated. However, when Amna reported the incident to the HR department of her office, she didn't quite get the response she expected. Instead, she was informally told that as the allegations were brought against a 'respected' senior staff member of the company, it was unlikely that any actual action would be taken against him. “And that's exactly what happened,” says Amna. “He basically got a slap on the wrist and was told that he should be more careful with his behaviour with his women colleagues.”
Sexual harassment in educational institutes and workplaces can be monitored and prevented. All we need is a little self-awareness and vigilance.
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Men – Are You Listening?
Instead of explaining sexual harassment to their sons, parents impose a curfew on their daughters and tell them that they should return home directly from their school or college. Aren't we undermining men when we say that they don't have any control over their sexual impulses? Men, after all, belong to the same human species as women. So if a woman can control herself and not whistle when a man walks past them or is expected to not sing a vulgar song when they see a man get on a rickshaw, why should a man not be expected to do the same?
Openly staring at a woman who works at your office is sexual harassment. You are making her feel uncomfortable about her physicality. Groping your classmate in a crowded room is sexual harassment. Saying inappropriate things to your much younger colleague or student is sexual harassment. She did not ask for your 'valuable' advice about how she should dress and who she should interact with, so keep your suggestions to yourself.
How can you tell if and when your behaviour is sexual harassment? Just ask yourself whether you'd mind if someone treated your wife, partner, mother, sister or daughter the way you treat other women? Would you do this if your wife, mother or daughter were in the room? Would you do the same thing if the parents or spouse of the other person were present in the room? Ask yourself whether you apologise and stop when a person objects to your behaviour or do you get upset instead? How would you feel if the same kind of behaviour were meted out to you? Is you behaviour reciprocated? Would you mind if someone wrote about your behaviour on a public forum?
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