THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
ARIES
Oh my dear Aries, you should eat more berries.
TAURUS
It would be better if you performed a chorus.
GEMINI
Start practising making beguni.
CENCER
You are a disco dancer; smoking causes cancer.
LEO
It'll be hilarious if a Leo comes from Rio.
VIRGO
Have you watched Fargo yet?
LIBRA
Try riding a zebra.
SCORPIO
And the scorpio goes to Leo.
SAGITTARIUS
Never run after a No. 7 bus.
CAPRICON
Popcorn is harmful for you.
AQUARIUS
At least say "Arigatou gozaimasu."
PISCES
Never let others break your heart into pieces.
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