• Wednesday, March 04, 2015



Duration: 1 hour 35 minutes

Our protagonist, as anyone could tell by simply looking at the movie poster, is a snail with fast dreams. But instead he is stuck working at The Plant. Literally. A tomato plant. Several tomato plants in fact. Like a tomato orchard or garden or farm. Theo (powered by the generic, lame voice of Ryan Reynolds), is very passionate about racing, but the other snails laugh at him at work because of his silly ambitions. Even his older brother (voiced very well by Paul Giamatti) disapproves of his dreams, preferring the tedious, safe life of a garden snail. Bill Hader voices a French guy (or French equivalent) in “Turbo”.
After a humbling incident of realisation, Theo leaves The Plant and gets swept away by forces entirely co-incidental onto a street race. He lands on the hood of a car and gets to enjoy the speed for the beginning of the race but with enough wind resistance he gets swept up into the engine-thingy jutting out of the hood of what might be a Ford (but could also be a Chevrolet). The Ford-rolet (voiced by a blender) is falling behind the competition, a Mitsubishi Refrigerator (I think). So the driver switches the flip on the nitrous button, flooding the engine full of luminescent blue liquid with Ryan Reynolds still in it. Some magical stuff happens. It is as though Theo's a nerd-snail that got bit by a radioactive car and now he's The Amazing Car-Snail™.
The contrasting colours make certain scenes look fantastic. Not the way some animated films look very good, but the way an art connoisseur might compliment them with “Sir, that is some very good colouring you have done right there.” The superpower premise behind this movie just takes imagination to appreciate, or indifference to ignore. There are clichéd scenes where the audience is expected to internally cheer on the protagonist like, “You can do it, guy!” If I had to count, which I did, I would say there were about three funny scenes in the movie, an entirely relative figure. I like the soundtrack, and the original songs for the movie aren't bad either (credit to Henry Jackson, I believe). I would like to see a sequel to this movie because it isn't holy enough to not desecrate. I'd like the second movie to have more of the snail crew (with voices of Samuel L. Jackson, Snoop Dogg and other not-interesting people). They are a crazy, amusing bunch. I've seen this movie twice. This was a good waste of time. I want tacos. Tacos are central to the movie plot. Buy tacos before watching this movie.

Published: 12:00 am Thursday, December 26, 2013

Last modified: 10:05 pm Thursday, December 26, 2013

Leave your comments | Comment Policy
ICC Cricket World Cup