Is it Even Food if it's not Bhaat?
If you're like me and you don't know how to de-bone a pabda, let me tell you right now that it is all going to be just fine. There's no need to get a tabeej that will bestow upon you celestial machh bachha skills (just a heads-up, that doesn't work). Wasn't it Troy Bolton, who famously proclaimed in High School Musical 2, that “we're all in this together”? So, stop making that face you made when you first learned that nana and nati from Ittadi aren't actually granddad and grandson. Drop that jharu and tighten up the knot on your uber-stylish Pakeeja lungi. It's time to feel Bangali!
Let's face it – if there's bhaat on your plate, you've got 99% of being a Bangali down. Add to that some bhorta and kacha morich and that's your 100%. But like any 'ideal' child, let's finally do what our mother has been nagging you about, and get more than a hundred.
First cardinal rule of being Bangali – eat EVERYTHING with your hands. Shingara and mughlai porota – duh! But why stop there? You can eat pasta, noodles, dessert the same way. Honestly, if we use our hands to eat something like daal, I don't see what's wrong in licking that delicious corn soup off my palm.
We Bangalis love to rhyme. We're all poets. From the conservative gari-bari and pagol-chhagol, to the unconventional chul-tul and biskoot-tiskoot, to the utterly outrageous ac-messi and mobile-tobile, it's baffling to think how we don't have more Kazi Nazruls and Robi Thakurs. Also, there is the mispronunciation of some common English words, kettle (kettly) and fridge (freeze) to name a few.
We have a few perplexing habits as well: whenever we buy anything from shops, we always keep the paper/plastic bags, safely tucked away under the toshok of our beds, never to be used again. Side note: a true Bangali only sleeps on a bed if it has a toshok, a katha and a kolbalish.
What we are notorious for is our love of PARTY! With our 'baro mashe tero parbon' thing and all, us Bangali teens often find ourselves at weddings and dawat having to greet, smile at, and interact with countless unknown relatives, because otherwise, being on our phones label us as the 'noshto tech generation'. The silver lining here – we can skip lunch that day and proceed to stuff ourselves with kacchi and murgi at dinner (aloo in kacchi = heaven). Don't forget the pan-masala on the way out either.
Another undeniable Bangali trait is how we never miss a word when Grammy-deserving Nantu Ghotok comes on at any holud. And surprise, surprise – it's always mysteriously on the playlist when we're hosting any party as well.
Being Bangali is lot of things. It's returning home by Maghrib, and getting to drink the roshogolla juice straight from the bowl. It's being called gadhar baccha by your own parents, but not fretting, because you have the panacea, Napa tablet, which can fix everything. It's like ludu – it doesn't matter if you thought it was going to be a 'dui chhokka paach' and turned out to be a 'tin chhokka ek', because it is impossible to play ludu and not have fun.
Nibras is a hopeful doctor-to-be and a lover of murgi roast. He spends his free time stalking you on Instagram,
so DM @niibbzzz
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