Alternative Uses of Your University Degree
Use it as a shield
You don't need Captain America's shield to protect you when the aliens attack if you have two master's degrees sitting at home. For added effect, blow the dust collecting on your degrees over your attacker's eyes to obscure their field of vision.
Use it as a tray
Do you need serving trays? Baking trays? Not to worry. No further money will be spent on buying trays from now on, courtesy of degree trays.
Use it as a pillow
Only downside is that it cannot absorb the tears that you will inevitably be shedding crying over your unemployed state.
Use it as a phone
Can't afford to buy a phone? The benefit of using degree phone is that bankers cannot reach you asking you to pay your student loans. In fact, no one can reach you. This means no more calls from nosy aunties asking you whether you have a job yet.
Can be used for entertainment
Can't afford a television? Watch degree television. It has all your favourite shows such as "I wasted all my money on this piece of paper" and "I still don't have a job".
No internet? No problem. Use your degree as a router and type the password "Give me back my last 4 years".
Use it as a napkin
Use it to dry your tears. Ran out of toilet paper? No, you didn't!
Apart from these, there are numerous other uses your degree can be put to. It works as a really great umbrella, a hat (use strings to attach it to your head), a bookmark, a coaster, a lid for cups, and can even be used as a blanket.
Don't let it just hang on your wall and gather dust.
Tasnim Odrika flies around Dhaka city on her magic carpet with her best friend who's a Beluga Whale named Manik. At night, they fight crime in the sewers. Support them tonight at your nearby drain-hole.
Comments