7 Things People Who Live in GABTOLI are Tired of Hearing
This article shall be a golden opportunity for all my creepy stalkers to take their game to a whole new level because I disclosed my geographical location here. We, citizens of Gabtoli, are no less of human beings than the elite Dhakaites who live in Dhanmondi or Gulshan, and our stories of misery and humiliation deserve to be told, even if that requires undergoing some more pain. If you think there are other grave issues in this world that deserve more attention than the cow capital of the country, than I suggest you stop reading this right now and go back to sharing normy Filmygyan pictures on Facebook.
I was born and raised in Gabtoli. From my early childhood I noticed people giving me an expression of bewilderment and pity whenever I told them that I live here, followed by remarks which were sometimes funny and sometimes offensive. Here's a short compilation of frequently asked questions and frequently made statements concerning all things Gabtoli, and my reaction to those.
1. Is that even in Dhaka? I thought you lived on the galaxy's edge.
Yes, Gabtoli falls within the geographical boundaries of Dhaka (even if Foodpanda refuses to acknowledge that). Well, falls on the geographical edge of Dhaka, to be exact. Maybe the edge of the galaxy, but you will never know that for sure unless you move here and prove your loyalty to this land of the brave.
2. Why do you live in a goru'r haat?
I DON'T LIVE IN A GORU'R HAAT. If you look closely at a map of Dhaka city you will see that Gabtoli covers an area of about 5 square kilometres and most of it does not contain any trace of a goru'r haat. It is an event that occurs once a year and during those weeks we have to tolerate an insane amount of traffic and moo-ing. We also get to witness many hilarious incidents of cow chasing man, man chasing cow, and basically, well, cow.
3. But if you don't live in a goru'r haat, do you live in a bus stand?
No. We have a house, contrary to popular belief. Also, as exciting as the professions of selling cows and owning buses may be, my family is into neither. They're all doctors, hence quite understandably boring, I assure you.
4. Do they have rickshaws in Gabtoli or has that technology not reached you yet?
We have access to all modes of transport, thank you very much.
5.Gabtoli is still mofosshol, though (for my non Bangla-speaking readers: mofosshol means small town).
My elite Dhakaite friends say this everyday. I can't even argue with this because I do sort of live in the middle of nowhere.
6. Are you related to Dipjol?
Nobody asks that without making the face. The answer is no.
7. Dude I'll drop by your house after we buy the cow!
Sure thing, dude. Is your cow a Coke person or a Sprite person?
I hope you have had all your questions about Gabtoli answered and that you have been left with a better understanding of the lives of people of this remote, exotic land. We put a lot of effort into going into the elite areas of Dhaka every day, battling 4.5 hours of traffic jam on average and all that we ask in return are to be loved and respected equally and not be snubbed solely because of our geographical location. Thank you.
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