THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
ARIES
Never believe your friends.
TAURUS
Don't panic if you can't find the brake paddle while sleeping.
GEMINI
Singing while looking at the moon can improve your romanticism.
CENCER
If your parents don't listen to you then tell them you got cancer.
LEO
The louder you are the nosier you are.
VIRGO
Reshape your forehead.
LIBRA
I know you need more reaction buttons.
SCORPIO
Go to the nearest super shop, walk for a while and go back home.
SAGITTARIUS
At this age, a new tooth is not going to grow.
CAPRICON
It's time to tell him NO.
AQUARIUS
Roll on the ground and splash water all over yourself.
PISCES
You are not alone.
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