THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE
ARIES
Roses are red, no more single bed.
TAURUS
Take 50mg painkiller before asking her out.
GEMINI
No makeup, no Jaan.
CENCER
If he is not responsive enough, start wearing linen.
LEO
Find a girl who believes in "Ekti saree, ekti bari".
VIRGO
Set your caller tune to "Hello, is it me you are looking for?"
LIBRA
Its not mandatory to accept Valentine's Day gifts, unless it's a diamond ring ;-P
SCORPIO
Jupiter will be in your favour this year; five breakups mean five new loves.
SAGITTARIUS
Moon lovers, you have only 41% chance to go for a date.
CAPRICON
Clash of Clans or dating plans?
AQUARIUS
Don't let him know that you prefer wealth to him.
PISCES
Yes, "ex" stands for "expired".
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