• Monday, September 22, 2014

Group Study with an Imaginary Friend

Azmin Azran

Group studying is this impractical method of learning that requires unnecessary things like social skills -- having to cooperate, being nice and helping out others. A lot of us don't like people, some of us don't have friends and the ones who do are often annoyed by them. But teachers say group study helps, and because yours truly has no friends and couldn't manufacture a friend from thin air, he decided to fabricate in his mind a perfect rendition of a study partner, and the results were stunning.

Let's get this straight, imaginary friends can do a lot more than help kids plan evil things, no matter how much horror movies say otherwise. We make them up the way we want so they can help us do stuff. The friend you need to help you study is one who is good with lessons, knows a lot, can constantly assure you and is also good company. There's some meticulous planning involved with this and to carry out the production of such an imaginary friend will not be easy.

Our imaginary study partner will need to study things we don't want to and know things we don't. Given that they are a fragment of our own thinking, this becomes an issue. What we do here is make use of the liberty we have in cooking up a character. This study partner should look like a fusion between Urkel from the '90s sitcom “Family Matters” and Velma from “Scooby Doo”, with a mouth as fast as Sheldon Cooper. He can speak with the knowledge our subconscious has gained from science fiction, detective novels, movies, TV shows and hipster music. This should be enough to fool our brains into thinking we are in intellectual company and enjoy the effects that might have. This imaginary entity won't be able to help us with his knowledge but his air of genius can be a very drastic catalyst.

One good thing about an imaginary study partner is that you can never disagree on anything. No bickering will be done about what to study and what to ditch, what music should be played in the background or if any studying should be done at all. This does have a downside though, if you're the procrastinating type, you'll never get any work done and remain illiterate. Come to think of it, if you are old enough to do group study and still have imaginary friends, being illiterate should be the least of your worries.

Having friends over to study with is one of the few times your parents aren't annoyed by your guests. Good food will be provided for the guest and because he is nonexistent you can have double servings of everything, a very profitable prospect. Keep in mind, the parents can't really find out about this. Giving you double servings won't bother them, but how they react to their child having an imaginary friend is unpredictable. If the parents have seen their fair share of horror movies, this could begin a family crisis.

Group studying with an imaginary friend can be fun and profited from but the fact remains that very little work is ever done if you're with a group. Half the time is spent making arrangements and most of the other half goes into doing everything else that is not work. If said friend is imaginary, even more complications arise. However intolerable, group study with real life friends of flesh and blood would be easier. That is if you can't avoid group study in the first place.

Published: 12:00 am Thursday, September 04, 2014

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