• Saturday, March 07, 2015

Fraping Etiquettes

Inma Sumaita Rahman

When your friends leave their Facebook logged in and unattended in front of you, it's almost obligatory to put up an embarrassing status update in their name for all their nearly-forgotten high school acquaintances and distant cousins (or worse, mothers) to read. Fraping is the act of ravaging someone's Facebook profile when they leave it logged in. Profile pictures, sexual orientation and interests are commonly changed.
When someone takes over your Facebook account, do they take over your soul? No, of course they don't, because souls aren't real (right?). But Facebook is. So, while you're having the time of your life determining how to alter your friend's or coworker's identity to the rest of the REAL world, you must follow a code of conduct. I mean, fraping is a sophisticated art and we mustn't be barbaric. (By that, I don't mean you can't sit on your friend to keep them from revolting while you frape. By all means, go ahead.)
#1 Do not go through their private messages.
How is that even funny? That is an utter invasion of privacy and definitely not in the spirit of frape. Keep out of their inboxes at all times. Even inboxing someone else harmless funny things is a bit much unless you're completely sure of the relationship dynamics between your friend and said person.
#2 Do not write sweet nothings to the arch nemesis.
Times have changed since the days when the only place you would face your arch nemesis was at a match of jousting! Cold wars and feigned tolerance is more in vogue now. However, overly sweet posts and such is bound to raise suspicion and make things awkward. It could get so bad that your friend may have to remove their nemesis from the Facebook reality to avoid the weirdness. Not only is this embarrassing, it also takes away your friend's privilege of keeping tabs on their enemy. And you know how the saying goes: Keep your friend's close and your enemies on your homepage. (Or at least, that's how it should go.)
#3 No sexually explicit or graphic content.

Facebook is very public and considering how everyone has Facebook now, this would be annoying to the family members and acquaintances. Also, such posts are barely funny to most people. The idea of fraping is to amuse yourself and the people on your friend's Facebook, at said friend's expense, not permanently damage his/her reputation.
#4 Do not meddle with the exes.
It's very difficult to determine the dynamics of an ex relationship. Considering the amount of potential ego clash and drama that runs under the surface of such a relationship, it's best to leave it alone. Also, considering how people rely on Facebook more than the newspaper nowadays, this sort of misinformation can be considered a market failure.
#5 Do not be dull.
The sole purpose of frape is humour. If you ain't got a funny bone, don't waste our time. The newsfeed is abundant in posts that cease to amuse us, already.
There are also the basic etiquettes of no biting and gagging the victim to restrain him. Nylon ropes is almost pushing it. Almost. Zero casualties would also be appreciated. Don't get killed.
Happy frape-a-thon, folks.

Published: 12:00 am Sunday, December 22, 2013

Last modified: 8:08 pm Sunday, December 22, 2013

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