• Friday, December 19, 2014

Freedom in the air

Ask the SHOUT Troll

Useless Shout Troll,
Hey get straight to the point...Why do you give useless suggestion on someone's important matters. You should; no I would say You must stop this nonsense. OR....
YOU WILL PAY>>>>>> ;)
-- Partha Sarker

Hello,
Do you accept Mastercard?

Dear Shout Troll,
All my friends are football freaks, whereas I hate sports with a passion. I think it is a useless waste of time, for people who have no intellectual depth. The only sport that should be encouraged is chess, so that kids can exercise their brains more. How do I get this point across to my friends?
-- Brainiac

Dear Brainiac,
Please consider the fact that you are brainy, and your friends are muscular. If you try to get your point across, chances are that you will get pounded to a pulp. Even supposing you don't get killed, have you considered the real life impact of your big idea? Soon, the world will be full of morbidly obese kids with really big brains, while their limbs slowly lose function. And then before you know it human existence will become limited to large brains swimming in vitamin-water, as outside the greenhouse of brains the crops will die, weeds will take over and the whole of humanity will shrivel up.

Dear Shout Troll,
My aim in life is to one day own a Ferrari. But my girlfriend thinks my priorities are misaligned. How do I convince her otherwise?
CarLover

Dear CarLover,
The only way you can convince your girlfriend is by buying her a Ferrari. To do that, your aim in life has to be to buy a Ferrari. But then she will continue to think your priorities are misaligned. You are at a grave point. I think the only way you can get out of this is by telling her the truth, that you can simply never earn enough money to buy a Ferrari. Tell her not to bother about this and live her life in peace. Maybe you will buy her a “privet” CNG someday.

Dear Shout Troll,
I want to vote. But I can't because there's only one candidate from my area. What to do?
-- Youth of Nation

Dear Youth of Nation,
It's a little too late, otherwise I would suggest you to take up nomination in your area. I think you would win, at this point. But look at the bright side -- you can sleep all day. And your fingers will be well preserved, without the blue ink mark of democracy. So take a day off, chill with friends, and the next day you will be magically assigned with a representative.

Published: 12:00 am Sunday, January 05, 2014

Last modified: 11:58 pm Sunday, January 05, 2014

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